Can you imagine Ron Swanson waking up to discover he was suddenly allergic to meat? No steaks, no brats, no bacon, no cheeseburgers. Can you imagine his reaction? It would have made a great episode, but maybe it sounds too far fetched. Believe it or not, a meat allergy is a real thing, and I was as horrified to discover I had it as Ron Swanson would have been.

Two years ago, I developed what I thought was strep throat. I found myself with a cough and having trouble swallowing. Quickly it worsened into headaches and then dizziness and then the hives—hives on my chest, back, arms, and face.

The doctor was confident it was an anaphylactic reaction, but we couldn’t determine to what. I had never been allergic to anything, not even poison ivy. I didn’t even know what hives looked liked until I had them. We tried everything. I changed soap, and laundry detergent, and vitamins, but for three weeks, I continued to deteriorate. Each afternoon I would lay under a fan in my underwear, dizzy, short of breath, and miserable with hives. But things would get much worse.

I finally started to notice that when I ate beef, my reactions were more severe the next day. I searched online, “can you become allergic to meat?” To my dismay, I discovered the recent spread of a tick born illness known as Alpha-Gal, “the Mammalian Meat Allergy.” It didn’t take me long to remember. A few weeks before the symptoms, I had removed two ticks from my legs after shooting handguns in my parent’s woods. The doctor soon confirmed what I feared; I had Alpha-Gal—goodbye, cheeseburgers.

But It Gets Worse

They say the disease can fade after a period of ten to fifteen years. That is a long time without a steak. It’s hard to articulate how massive this dietary change has been for me. I’m a bacon cheeseburger kind of guy. I also love to hunt. Since I was ten, I haven’t missed a deer season. I usually process deer myself. The day a fresh venison backstrap hits the grill is one of the best days of the year. Now, that same piece of meat is likely to send me to the emergency room.

Technically, Alpha-Gal is an autoimmune condition. There is a carbohydrate common to mammals which humans don’t have. The current theory is that a tick’s bite introduces this carbohydrate into your body. Your immune system recognizes it as a threat and creates a plan for elliminating it. The next time you eat meat and digest more Alpha-Gal, your immune system recognizes it again and now attacks your body.

Over the last two years, the disease has laid waste to my immune system and has caused me to develop additional food sensitivities. This past year, I also began to experience more debilitating migraines. These migraines became so severe, I started to develop neurological systems. I had trouble formulating sentences, ordering words, and remembering basic details.

One Sunday, at the close of service, I wanted to read through the Beatitudes. I know the beatitudes are found in Matthew chapter five. Usually, that’s an easy recall, like remembering the Pledge of Allegiance or the last year the Cardinals won the World Series. But this time, I stood flipping through my Bible, completely unable to remember even where to start looking. It’s hard to describe it. I wasn’t sure which book of the Bible to open. Genesis? Habakkuk? Corinthians? It really was that bad.

To my embarrassment, I finally had to ask the congregation, “where are the Beatitudes?” Thankfully, they knew how sick I had been and were incredibly gracious, but something was obviously wrong. After more than three hours in an MRI machine, I was diagnosed with what my neurologist called Complex Migraines. These are migraines which present neurological symptoms similar to a stroke. The doctor wanted to put me on longterm migraine medication, but we were unable to find one which did not contain gelatin, a mammal product.

So, the solution was to become even more aggressive with dietary restrictions. No mammal, no dairy, no sugar, no gluten, and the elimination of a long list of individual foods which, after testing, showed signs of stimulating my immune system.

I have now terrified many men from going into the woods. And to the complete humiliation of my previous self, I eat a lot like a vegan. I haven’t deer hunted in two years.

If you listen to the Pastor Writer podcast, you might have noticed that my battle with Alpha Gal coincides with the launch and growth of the podcast. It was just a few months after I began working on my Samson book when the disease first hit. I can not tell you how discouraging it has been to find myself struggling with words, energy, and migraines during the same season in which I had hoped to spend more time on preaching, writing, and podcasting.

Does God Bless Excellence?

As a pastor, writer, and podcaster, mental clarity is everything. A writing coach once explained that “good writing is good thinking.” It’s also true of good podcast interviews, good sermons, and pastoring a congregation well. I depend on my ability to formulate and articulate coherent thoughts. And as I have often heard pastors say, “God honors excellence.” I want to be excellent. I want to preach excellent sermons and write excellent articles and produce an excellent podcast. So much seems to depend on excellence—success, progress, future opportunities, even blessing? But there were now very few days I managed the excellence I hoped for.

How could God, just when everything seemed to be taking off—the church, my writing, the podcast—allow me to develop a disease which put me at my worst? How do you grow a church when you know you’re nowhere near your best? How do you keep writing when you know it’s not what it could be? Is it even worth continuing?

Maybe the most painful realization has been it’s impact on me as a father and husband. I want to be a great dad—an excellent one—and to my shame, there have been days I’ve been far less. That is a hard thing to reconcile. Harder still to understand by faith. This was not how things were supposed to go, not in my thirties, and not when my vision, productivity, and energy were supposed to be at their best.

I know I’m not the only one who has wrestled with these questions. For some, it is sickness, for others loss, doubt, conflict, shame, addiction, or depression. The disappointment of our condition can be crushing. We live in the age of obsessive enhancement. Self-care, self-help, self-improvement. We must always be improving. To toss in another pastoral cliche, “If you’re not growing, you’re dying.” As pastors, we strive to keep improving. As writers, we grow bigger platforms. As a family, we want happiness and perfect family portraits. But what do you do when you aren’t improving, when excellence seems far out of reach? Does God honor barely making it through the day?

The Fruit of Sickness

At some point, I came across these words by the Catholic priest Henri Nouwen. “We have been called to be fruitful – not successful, not productive, not accomplished. Success comes from strength, stress, and human effort. Fruitfulness comes from vulnerability and the admission of our own weakness.” Those were kind words considering most of my life felt like a public display of my weakness. My congregants got a fresh showing of it every Sunday morning.

When I think about pastoring and writing, it’s so easy for my mind to fill with expectations for the future: a growing congregation, a book contract, a sense of having finally made it. I want to see the progress, track the results, and feel the energy of it. With such worthy ideals pulling me into each day’s work, a migraine felt like such a setback, three days of migraine felt like I had missed the whole opportunity.

But Nouwen forced me to ask a much different question. What might be the fruit of my sickness, and how might it make me a better pastor, writer, and even father? Honestly, I haven’t been able to answer that question fully, but I have begun to see signs of a new kind of maturity. I understand my congregants’ suffering in ways I didn’t before. I’ve been forced to pursue my writing at a pace God and my physical condition set for me. I pray more. I hope more.

I’m not sure there is always an obvious 1-to-1 correlation between our suffering, and it’s fruit as if I could connect every allergic reaction with some future moment of individual blessing. A migraine doesn’t guarantee the next day’s patience.

Instead, our moments of suffering have more to do with the long trajectory of who we are becoming. This disease has changed me. It’s changed my diet. It’s changed my body. It’s impacted my relationships and my ministry. But maybe the thing that has changed the most is my sensitivity—and no, it’s not because I’m now basically a vegan. That’s not the sensitivity I have in mind. It is a sensitivity to my daily dependence on God. I can’t guarantee a clear mind for tomorrow. I can only be faithful to what is put in front of me for today.

I’m rarely at my best, yet these days, I don’t think about my best nearly as much as I used to. I’ve grown far more interested in faithfulness. I wonder what years of this sickness might produce. It has, in an ironic way, already made me healthier. But I also wonder if it might cultivate a wisdom and a voice which speed and excellence never could. Might I be a better pastor for? Might I write things I otherwise never could have? Might it deepen my relationships with my wife and friends?

In the end, there is a kind of grace in it, hard to see when my eyes are blurry from migraines, but at other times so obvious. God is doing something. His plans and paths are wiser than mine. If he can work a crucifixion for my good how much easier an allergic reaction.

Finding Your Own Fruit

If I could offer any prayer for your suffering, it would rightfully be for God to alleviate it, but I would also add the request, however long it persists, you might discover a deeper contentment and grace through it. I would pray for a kind of depth to develop in your weakness that might open your eyes to a joy discovered by no other means. I would pray for fruit—fruit sweetened by the adversity of your condition; like a wild berry, persistent through frost, protected and guarded by thickets, ripened only by time. There is no other way to produce such fruit, and to the one who manages to find it, there is no better taste.

Might it be that the truest excellence is a grace we discover not one we can pursue?

“The way of Jesus cannot be imposed or mapped—it requires an active participation in following Jesus as he leads us through sometimes strange and unfamiliar territory, in circumstances that become clear only in the hesitations and questionings, in the pauses and reflections where we engage in prayerful conversation with one another and with him. After all, we are not just learning how to think right about God. For that we would enroll in a classroom so that we could concentrate, protected form distractions. And we are not just practicing ways to behave right before God. For that we would go to a training camp set up for behavioral modification that would provide the necessary protection from interruptions.

We can not remove ourselves form the way in order to have more favorable conditions for learning the way. We are already “on the way,” acquiring insights and developing habits of obedience, following Jesus in our homes and neighborhoods and workplaces, gradually and incrementally maturing in the way so that who we are and what we do is realized coherently and comprehensively.” — Eugene Peterson

This year’s debate between Jordan Peterson and Slavoj Žižek was marketed as one of the greatest intellectual debates of the century. At one point, tickets were being scalped for over $1,500 a seat. To many’s disappointment, but probably for the best, the event went off without the anticipated drama. Peterson and Žižek managed to find significant common ground.

The debate, which lasted over two and a half hours, has been watched online by more than 350,000 viewers. The interest in Peterson and Žižek represents a growing online audience who are routinely consuming multi-hour lectures and debates through youtube and podcasts. Figures like Žižek and Peterson are having a profound influence on, particularly, young men. While Peterson describes himself as a person who “lives as if there is a god,” his precise views on Christianity are complex and intentionally hard to categorize. Alternatively, Žižek describes himself as an atheist but provocatively contends that the only true path to atheism is through Christianity.

Since their debate in April, there has been one moment which I continue to see shared and discussed online. It is often referred to as, Christ’s moment of atheism on the cross. It was Žižek who introduced the topic into the night’s discussion. He represents a growing trend of individuals who articulate a path of Christian Atheism, honoring the value of Christianity while maintaining there is no God.

The topic came up in Žižek’s description of Christ’s cry from the cross: “My god, my god, why have you forsaken me.” Žižek explained:

“The crucifixion is something absolutely unique because in that moment of, father, why have you abandoned me?, for a brief moment, symbolically, God himself becomes an atheist, in the sense of getting a gap there. That is something absolutely unique. It means you are not simply separated from God. Your separation from God is a part of divinity itself.”

Peterson, visibly struck by this observation, responded, “There is something that is built into the fabric of existence that tests us so severely in our faith about being that even God himself falls prey to the temptation to doubt.”

The Rise of Christian Atheism

For some time, Žižek has been reading the gospels as an argument for atheism. Žižek goes so far as to claim that the only path for atheism to have developed was through Christianity. In his view, Christianity sowed the first seeds of an atheistic worldview. Christ was abandoned on the cross. When Christ turned to God, he came to the realization that there was no God.

Žižek articulated this brand of Christian Atheism in an interview with Third Way. He explained:

“I take seriously those words Christ says at the end: Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? It’s something really tremendous that happens. G K Chesterton (whom I admire) puts it in a wonderful way: Only in Christianity does God himself, for a moment, become atheist.

And I think – this is my reading – that this moment of the death of God, when you are totally abandoned and you have only your ‘collectivity’, called the ‘Holy Spirit’, is the authentic moment of freedom.”

When making this point, Žižek often turns to the writings of G. K. Chesterton, a twentieth-century Catholic writer and contemporary of C. S. Lewis. This week I went digging through my copy of Chesterton’s Orthodoxy, and sure enough, I found the lines which have caught Žižek’s attention. In chapter eight, entitled “The Romance of Orthodoxy,” Chesterton writes:

“In this indeed I approach a matter more dark and awful than it is easy to discuss; and I apologise in advance if any of my phrases fall wrong or seem irreverent touching a matter which the greatest saints and thinkers have justly feared to approach. But in that terrific tale of the Passion there is a distinct emotional suggestion that the author of all things (in some unthinkable way) went not only through agony, but through doubt…

He passed in some superhuman manner through our human horror of pessimism. When the world shook and the sun was wiped out of heaven, it was not at the crucifixion, but at the cry from the cross: the cry which confessed that God was forsaken of God…. Nay, (the matter grows too difficult for human speech,) but let the atheists themselves choose a god. They will find only one divinity who ever uttered their isolation; only one religion in which God seemed for an instant to be an atheist.”

Chesterton himself warns that we can not be too careful in speaking of this topic. Yet, it’s interesting that when quoting Chesterton, Žižek eliminates the word “seems.” Chesterton’s words were, “God seemed for an instant to be an atheist,” but they are remembered by Žižek as “God himself, for a moment, became an atheist.” In a nearly three hour debate, who would expect a person to recall quotations word-for-word? We always allow for rough paraphrasing. But here, more than the word has changed. Chesterton’s point is fundamentally altered.

Žižek suggests that in Chesterton, he has found a Christian theologian, who supports his radical reading of the crucifixion as not just the death of the son of god, but the death of God himself. Jesus’ cry from the cross and heaven’s empty response prove that there is no god. But something significant is missing from Žižek’s reading.

Follow the Footnotes: The Source of Jesus’s Cry

Chesterton was right about the nature of approaching Jesus’s cry of abandonment; it is dark and difficult to consider. Church history is filled with writers who have been shocked by Christ’s words, and surely there is something about it which pulls all of us to the edge of the darkness. But there are important points about that moment in the gospels which Žižek seems to be completely unaware of. I hesitate to say that, Žižek’s familiarity with the text and historical theology are evident, but it’s hard to understand how a person can draw such massive implications from a Biblical text without taking the text itself equally serious.

Of all the gospel writers, Matthew, in particular, makes Jesus cry of abandonment central to his story. A careful reading of Matthew 27 reveals that much of his passion narrative has been structured around allusions to Psalm 22. In fact, Jesus’s prayer, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me,” is a direct quotation from the psalm’s opening. The parallels go on. Both the psalm and Matthew describe the mocking crowd, those who “wag” their heads, how the sufferer has trusted God, and yet how he has had his hands and feet pierced. Both Psalm 22 and Matthew 27 describe enemies dividing up the victim’s garments. Matthew clearly wants us to read his passion story in the echos of Psalm 22.

As modern readers, having far less familiarity with the Hebrew texts, it’s difficult to understand how these references would have struck an early Jewish reader. The Psalms, in particular, were the spiritual foundation of Israel’s prayer life. The Psalms formed the vocabulary of Jewish worship and religion. Mentioning even the first word would call to mind the entire Psalm and set the cross in the context of David’s reflections.

As an example, when Jesus was tempted in the garden to turn stones into bread, he had responded, “Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the Lord.” We might hear that as a kind of cryptic, sagacious response, but Jesus was referencing Old Testament scripture. He was quoting from Deuteronomy 13 which explained that God had fed the Israelites in the wilderness with manna so that they might learn that man’s need is greater than his belly. Satan’s temptation of hunger wouldn’t work. Jesus’s quotation pulled in a broader context beyond just his single sentence citation.

To offer a more current example, you might say to a rival after your defeat, “you may have won the battle.” Though that appears to be a statement of defeat, we know it isn’t because what is implied is the next line of that saying, “but you won’t win the war.” The assumed familiarity with the referenced content fundamentally changes the meaning of what is being said. With the right context, we can ironically say one thing while implying the opposite.

A quick reading of Psalm 22 reveals, that while it opens with an expression of abandonment, it is hardly a song of defeat. Quite the opposite. Psalm 22 builds towards the triumphant ending of faith and trust in times of darkness and isolation.

Psalm 22 concludes:
For he has not despised or abhorred
the affliction of the afflicted,
and he has not hidden his face from him,
but has heard, when he cried to him.
From you comes my praise in the great congregation;
my vows I will perform before those who fear him.
The afflicted shall seat and be satisfied;
those who seek him shall praise the LORD!
May your hearts live forever!

Jesus could have cried any phrase of abandonment from the cross. He could have invented his own. The thieves surrounding him had no problem turning to curses. The crowds imagined he was crying to Elijah for help.

It’s hard to imagine Jesus would have selected the opening line of this psalm in an attempt to articulate God’s nonexistence when every Jew would have immediately associated that Psalm with the reassurance of God’s presence. That Žižek would claim to “take seriously those words Christ says at the end” and yet not even mention David’s psalm is reading far too simplistic and crude. Matthew uses every literary detail of his passion narrative to turn our minds to Psalm 22. There is no discussing Jesus’s words without taking the time to consider David’s.

A Darkness Deeper Than Death

What Žižek does manage to capture is the horror of what Christ experienced on the cross and the unexpected possibility of that experience. Christ’s suffering faced its greatest test in the temptation to doubt, to abandon God in the face of having been abandoned. What does it mean for God to reach out to God and for the first time in all eternity, find nothing? In this way, Christ, in his humanity, tastes the atheist’s deepest experiences of nothingness. Christ took on the most fundamental human experience, alienation. And so Matthew records, a verse before Jesus’s words, “darkness came over all the land.”

As a painter, Rembrandt is known for his dramatic use of light and darkness. Nowhere does he deploy this contrast more effectively than in his painting of Christ being raised on the cross. In the painting, a large crowd has formed around Christ, as three men work to hoist the cross upward. Interestingly, the man central to the raising is believed by scholars to be a self-portrait of Rembrandt. Christ is cast in warm and bright light, but the source of that light is mysterious because surrounding the scene is a black shadow. It is the noon hour, but there is no sun in the sky. As the cross is still being raised, it has not yet reached its vertical position. Its angle forces Jesus’s view upward on to the vast open darkness which dominates half the painting. Jesus stares into the empty black.

By comparison, many medieval painters filled their Good Friday skies with angelic creatures and beams of heavenly light. Many of Rembrandt’s contemporaries, like Peter Paul Rubens, opted for dramatically clouded skies. Rembrandt sought instead to draw our attention to that overwhelming, empty section of the canvas. This was also the experience of Christ. To look upward and find emptiness.

This same observation led Chesterton to consider Christ the God of atheists because no other god could better relate to the crushing weight of doubt. The atheist’s sense of God’s apparent absence has never been experienced as deeply as Christ did on the cross. Christ himself stepped into the experience of doubt in ways more profound than any human before him.

As C. S. Lewis put it, “To enter heaven is to become more human than you ever succeeded in being on earth; to enter hell is to be banished from humanity.” What Christ saw in that great emptiness was hell opened before him. It was a space void of God’s presence. It was the nihilistic world of the atheist’s most crushing doubts.

Chesterton also pointed out that, “In a garden Satan tempted man: and in a garden, God tempted God.” When man was tempted, we each failed. We continue to. Even waking each morning into the preserving grace of God’s patience, even walking daily with him in the garden, as the first man did, we continue to fail that test. We live as if there is no God. It takes less than God’s abandonment for our hearts to turn against Him.

But, and it’s an important but, a test of one’s faith in the face of doubt is not necessarily a denial. It may be, as I think Rembrandt captures, that the greatest light of faith shines brightest in the greatest darkness. Rembrandt’s mysterious source of light is Christ himself. And Christ’s cry is no curse. Instead, Christ does what no man has been capable of doing. In the honesty of his cry, acknowledging his abandonment, he sows the seed of hope. He turns us to Psalm 22. Christ threw himself into the emptiness. But far from cursing God, Luke records Jesus’s final words as, “Then Jesus called out in a loud voice, “‘Father, into Your hands I commit My Spirit.’ And when He had said this, He breathed His last.”

By his allusion to Psalm 22, Jesus forces into the darkness expectations of faith. In the absence of God, Christ still believed. Even when alone, he called out, “my God!” How, in the echo of Christ’s words, do we not hear the psalm’s final conclusion still to come? “He has not hidden his face from him, but has heard, when he cried to him… May your hearts live forever!”

Jesus plunged into the abyss, entrusting his spirit to a God he couldn’t see and believing in a vindication still to come. So Søren Kierkegaard would write, “This is one of the most crucial definitions for the whole of Christianity; that the opposite of sin is not virtue but faith.” Christ is made perfect in faith. His power is revealed in weakness. His vindication in defeat. His faith in the face of doubt.

The Absence of Resurrection Light

It’s striking that, as seriously as Peterson and Žižek discuss the cross, neither makes mention of the Gospel’s resurrection finale. The gospel writers could not have imagined a conversation about the cross, which dismissed the resurrection. As the Apostle Paul would put it, “If Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain, and your faith is in vain… if Christ has not been raised, your faith is empty.” The meaning of Christ’s cry on the cross hangs on the actuality of his resurrection. Christians have believed this since the first century.

To imagine you are reading the gospels carefully while lopping off their final culminating event is hard to reconcile. Try telling the story of the Trojan war without the Trojan horse? Could you recount Lord of the Rings without Frodo finally casting the ring into the fires of Mordor? Is it still a fairy tale if you delete it’s final happily ever after?

Paul was correct. Even two thousand years ago, he recognized that life and death—defeat and vindication–depend on the resurrection. The message of the cross hangs on the resurrection. There is no way to read the gospels with any semblance of respect while simultaneously stripping them of their conclusion. The moment we reduce Christ’s resurrection to the symbolic, we forfeit the vindication of his suffering. Without that vindication, Christ’s abandonment becomes defeat. He is nothing more than mistaken or disillusioned. The entire edifice of Christianity collapses in on itself. We are left to the scraps.

In a novel move, Žižek attempts to cast this collapse as Christianity’s strength. In a Nietzschean proclamation, Žižek declares the cross the actual death of God. Or as Žižek has described it, “The truly dramatic point is in Christianity, and that is why, although I am (I must admit it) an atheist, I think that you can truly be an atheist – and I mean this quite literally – only through Christianity. That’s how I read the death of Christ – here I follow Hegel, who said: What dies on the cross is God himself.”

I think Chesterton, a self-acknowledged favorite of Žižek’s, offers the final pages of the gospel story the fuller reading they deserve. Chesterton saw in the death and resurrections story, not the death of God but the death of humanity. He saw in it not a dawning of man, but a dawning of God—a new creation. I have rarely read words by any Christian author more profound than Chesterton’s description of resurrection from the Everlasting Man.

“There were solitudes beyond where none shall follow. There were secrets in the inmost and invisible part of that drama that have no symbol in speech; or in any severance of a man from men. Nor is it easy for any words less stark and single-minded than those of the naked narrative even to hint at the horror of exaltation that lifted itself above the hill. Endless expositions have not come to the end of it, or even to the beginning. And if there be any sound that can produce a silence, we may surely be silent about the end and the extremity; when a cry was driven out of that darkness in words dreadfully distinct and dreadfully unintelligible, which man shall never understand in all the eternity they have purchased for him; and for one annihilating instant an abyss that is not for our thoughts had opened even in the unity of the absolute; and God had been forsaken of God.

They took the body down from the cross and one of the few rich men among the first Christians obtained permission to bury it in a rock tomb in his garden; the Romans setting a military guard lest there should be some riot and attempt to recover the body. There was once more a natural symbolism in these natural proceedings; it was well that the tomb should be sealed with all the secrecy of ancient eastern sepulture and guarded by the authority of the Caesars. For in that second cavern the whole of that great and glorious humanity which we call antiquity was gathered up and covered over; and in that place it was buried. It was the end of a very great thing called human history; the history that was merely human. The mythologies and the philosophies were buried there, the gods and the heroes and the sages. In the great Roman phrase, they had lived. But as they could only live, so they could only die; and they were dead.

On the third day the friends of Christ coming at daybreak to the place found the grave empty and the stone rolled away. In varying ways they realised the new wonder; but even they hardly realised that the world had died in the night. What they were looking at was the first day of a new creation, with a new heaven and a new earth; and in a semblance of the gardener God walked again in the garden, in the cool not of the evening but the dawn.”

While Žižek reads the cross as God’s defeat, he reads Chesterton very wrongly to come to that conclusion. Instead, Chesterton saw in Christ’s cry a kind of courage. It is the courage to believe even when abandoned. This is the great contribution of Christ to man. This is what separates the Christian God from others. As Chesterton put it, “Alone of all creeds, Christianity has added courage to the virtues of the Creator. For the only courage worth calling courage must necessarily mean that the soul passes a breaking point–and does not break.”

Christ’s prayer of abandonment was a subversive act of faith. When tested, and even when acknowledging the sheer horror of his isolation, still Christ does not break. He leads us not to atheism but pulls us by faith through our doubt.

Christ did not give in to the doubt. “Not my will but yours,” was his prayer. He passed through hell and was vindicated in resurrection. This is not the story of denial or defeat; it is the story of courageous faith, a perfect faith. A leap of faith, as Kierkegaard would describe it.

I can’t help but end in reflecting again on Rembrandt’s painting. At the foot of the cross is a shovel stuck in the ground before a freshly dug grave. For those soldiers who placed Christ’s body in the tomb, death was the finale. How shocked those who had carried his cold body must have been to have seen him resurrected: eating fish, walking with his disciples, and bearing his scars. Christ’s resurrection transcends our certainty.

Or remember the words of Lewis’s imaginary tempter, Screwtape, “Our cause is never more in danger, than when a human, no longer desiring, but intending, to do our Enemy’s will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.”

“For me the most radical demand of Christian faith lies in summoning the courage to say yes to the present risenness of Jesus Christ.” — Brennan Manning, Abba’s Child

I recently found a computer emulator for playing vintage Super Nintendo games. And who knew you could buy USB Nintendo controllers on Amazon for eight bucks. Two days of waiting for our Prime package to arrive, and I sat down to introduce my son to the video games of my childhood. The first game I downloaded was Aladdin.

Like so many of the other 30-somethings packed into this past Saturday evening’s showing, I was nervous and excited for the remake. Disney’s recent streak of live-action remakes has been pretty hit and miss. Overall, the new Aladdin was entertaining but predictably less than the one of my youth. At first, I found the casting of Will Smith as a blue genie hard to buy into. But eventually, with his Fresh Prince hip-hop take on Robin Williams classic character, I started to enjoy it. The songs are all there, along with a few new ones. But some changes felt odd and, by the end, had me shaking my head.

Jafar is much younger and less mysteriously evil than the original. He is also given a backstory, having grown up as a street thief like Aladdin. The new Jafar seems to function as a kind of foil character to Aladdin and Jasmine. The three, all now similarly aged, are after the same upward mobility to power, but for very different reasons. This reworking of Jafar has reasons we’ll look at below.

Jasmine also undergoes an update. Thankfully her character is far less sexualized than the ’92 version. As producer Jonathan Elrich admitted, “I think my wife told me, ‘If you put Jasmine in a midriff, I’m divorcing you.’”

A Tale of Power’s Temptation

The original plot and themes are mostly retained throughout the film. The Aladdin story has always served as a warning of the destructive seduction of power. The genie makes this point abundantly clear in warning Aladdin, “that’s not a cup you want to drink from.” Even as a child, I remember how it was Jafar’s desire for ultimate power—for the lamp and the throne—which ironically became the thing that enslaved him and shrunk him into the confines of his own lamp—“Phenomenal cosmic power! Itty-bitty living space.”

There is something profoundly true about that point, and it serves as the ethical backbone of both old and new storylines. Unlike Jafar, who is defeated by his desperation for power, Aladdin is heroic for his willingness to sacrifice the possession of his final wish to free the genie. The point? Heroes are not made through power but through their overcoming of power’s temptation.

As it’s been expressed, “Nothing discloses real character like the use of power. It is easy for the weak to be gentle. Most people can bear adversity. But if you wish to know what a man really is, give him power.” Aladdin proves to be the diamond in the rough because of his final ability to hold power without being overcome by it.

That’s a message we need right now, maybe even more than we did in 1992. But that point gets obscured by the new themes Disney attempts to fold into the remake.

A New Tale for A New Time

At the World Premiere of Aladdin, producer Dan Lin explained, “We love the original movie, but when you watch it now, there are some things that are dated. Some of the political issues and the way they treat women just needed to be updated for today.”

I often think about the stories my son and daughter consume for entertainment. Disney is one of the loudest of those voices. I know the way Disney movies formed the soundtrack to my childhood and I see the way they are already capturing my daughter’s imagination. Stories are the foundation of culture, and Disney has a deep influence in shaping the identity formation of our kids. You could read my concerns as a kind of stuffy fundamentalism, but those who know me, know that’s far from my perspective. My issue is not with Disney’s attempts to empower Jasmine, my concern is that what Disney offers my daughter is not nearly empowering enough.

I’m thankful that my daughter will inherit female characters with more significant heroic traits than beauty and poise, but as forcefully as Disney tried to recreate Jasmine as a character of empowerment, I think the effort failed and exposed the clichéd and disjointed hero narrative which Disney seems to be sadly stuck on.

Jasmine’s character always had an independent mind and voice, even in the original, but her new depiction allows her independence to aim at more than prince charming. The new Jasmine has her passion set on being Sultan, motivated by an interest to serve her people better. But Jasmine is in a world in which women cannot rule. She is in a world in which they can’t choose whom to marry, nor share their opinions in public.

As Naomi Scott, who plays Jasmine, explained, “I kind of want people to come out of the cinema and go, ‘Oh, it makes sense that she leads. It’s not just something she wanted.’ She does showcase the skills necessary to lead and she cares about her people, so for me that’s what I want little girls to take away from it — the idea that you can lead, and you can have love. You can have both.”

But Jasmine’s new story is not strictly a political struggle for power to rule, after all, that’s the very thing Jafar was after. Instead, Jasmine’s story is one about identity. While she sees herself as capable of ruling, others, including her own father, see only the traditional expectations of marriage and passivity.

This new plotline, Jasmine’s search for empowerment through identity, also has a featured new song: Speechless. You can probably expect it to get nominated for best song and Scott’s musical performance is by far the strongest of the film. It’s her “Frozen moment,” and the song delivers themes overtly similar.

“Written in stone, every rule, every word
Centuries old and unbending
Stay in your place, better seen and not heard
Well, now that story’s ending”

“I won’t be silenced
You can’t keep me quiet
Won’t tremble when you try it
All I know is I won’t go speechless
Speechless!”

This expression of self against tradition has been a Disney obsession for the past decade or more. The traditional hero narrative calls for the hero to sacrifice their personal interest for the good of others. In Disney’s recent stories, heroics are recast as the individual’s courage to embrace their true selves in the face of traditional expectations of others. The hero is the one willing to find and embrace their true selves no matter the cost.

There is a technical term for this philosophical idea, and it’s found far beyond Disney cinema. Robert Bellah has given it the name, expressive individualism. The Philosopher Charles Taylor describes it as “The Age of Authenticity.”

Bellah explains, “Finding oneself means… finding the story or narrative in terms of which one’s life make sense… In most societies in world history, the meaning of one’s life has derived to a large degree from one’s relationship to the lives of one’s parents and one’s children… Clearly, the meaning of one’s life for most Americans is to become one’s own person, almost to give birth to oneself. Much of this process, as we have seen, is negative. It involves breaking free from family, community, and inherited ideas.”

Honestly, that storyline is so frequent in nearly every modern movie that it is becoming its own cliché. The damsel in distress mold has needed breaking, but the damsel power-ballad of self-expression is becoming just as overused. That Disney can see no other form of heroic empowerment for girls than “speak your truth,” is honestly sad and deeply problematic.

These identity adventures always run into two fundamental problems.

1. Villains and The Lack of Temptation

If a happy ending is to be found in the power to express one’s individuality, then the role of the evil antagonist shifts to any person or force bent on keeping us in our pedestrian place.

I’ve written before about the lack of a true villain in Disney’s Moana story. Taka, the fire-hurling monster, turns out to be Te Fiti, the mother goddess who’s heart was stollen and identity was misinterpreted. Moana cloaks it in a catchy island song, but the real power of this suppression is revealed in Moana’s own father and family who refuse to recognize who she uniquely is.

Casting family and community as the enemy is a tough sell for a family movie, but that’s exactly what the Aladdin producers needed to do to incorporate this new hero archetype into the story. In the previous version, Jasmine’s father was a bumbling naive traditionalist more a jester than an oppressive ruler. He had been fooled into trusting Jafar. The Sultan was wrong but in a mostly likable way. But for Jasmine’s new story to work, we have to see both her father and the encompassing system of cultural authority as the protagonist. Jasmine’s father now shuts down her requests in ways more authoritarian than in the original.

In the original version, the Sultan felt as helplessly trapped in the tradition as his daughter, in the remake, he seems stuck on defending it. In an awkward attempt to make it work, Disney gives Jafar the most blatant articulation of it when he informs Jasmine that the sooner she learns her place—to be quiet—the better things will go for her.

In actuality, it isn’t Jafar that has Jasmine confined to quiet submission; it’s primarily her own father. Though he later claims to be motivated by his fear of losing her, it doesn’t make sense. If he really believed she was incapable of ruling simply because she was a woman, how is he different than Jafar? But Disney can’t bring its story to the bluntness by which this narrative is expressed in our actual culture, where any suggestion of patriarchy is clearly villainy. If self-expression is our highest aim, then any authority which denies us the affirmation of it is logically the villain. For many, all forms of authority are villainy.

Traditionally, villains represented and exposed the conflicting nature of the hero. The external evil exposed bits of internal evil that threaten to undo the hero. Aladdin is tempted to use the same forms of manipulation and deception that characterize Jafar. Both Jafar and Aladdin lie to and manipulate the royal family for their own gain. The more Aladdin leans into the disguise of Prince Ali, the more he enters the domain of Jafar. The villain is always the embodiment of a path tempting the hero.

But if the challenge facing this new self-expressive hero is the suffocating expectations of others than what’s needed is not the power to overcome oneself, but the courage to embrace oneself. Evil is not lurking within but embedded in the systems and structures which oppress us into subjection. Evil is external, and so Jasmine’s challenges are only external. Somehow, we are to believe that offering internal signs of weakness and temptation are disempowering. I couldn’t disagree more. It’s the realization of a hero’s flaws and strengths that make them not only relatable but give them the potential of heroic.

Without a clear antagonist and without inner temptation, Jasmine’s situation collapses into shallow nonsense. Aladdin must handle ultimate power without allowing it to corrupt him. Jasmine, by comparison, is left with the internal struggle to speak her truth? What must she overcome to grow as a character? What does this courage cost her? Nothing. Her defiance comes after Jafar has already seized the throne and is executing judgment. It ends up feeling more desperate than empowered.

It didn’t have to go this way. If you’ll allow me the presumption of writing my own possible ending, why not have Jafar ready to execute the Sultan before the crowds of Agrabah. Jasmine could step in and offer her life in place of her father’s. At least Belle can be credited with that heroic act. Jasmine offering her life before the city would put her close enough to Jafar to convince him that he wouldn’t possess ultimate power until he was as powerful as the genie. Giving Jasmine this clever move, at the risk of her own life, would make her both hero and demonstrably the kind of character capable of ruling. Aladdin could still have his heroic scene freeing the Genie and Jasmine’s father could offer her the throne because of her willingness to sacrifice it for others. Far more empowering than a desperate speech.

Take the oddly similar Biblical story of Esther. Esther was not after power. Her heart was not set on the throne, yet like Jasmine, she knew what it was to be reduced to a pretty face in the king’s palace. Esther found herself a hero in Israelite history not because of her defiance of speech or claim to power, but because of her willingness to abandon herself and risk death in exposing corruption, cruelty, and the plot against her people. She saved her people, not by obtaining a position, but by sacrificing her position. In doing so, she appeared more capable and wise than the king himself. Jasmine, alternatively, imagines she will subvert power by gaining power herself.

2. Self-Expression Makes for Sad Endings

Fairy-tales are supposed to have happy endings, which means we need it to all work out. The genie freed, Aladdin able to marry his love, and Jasmine becoming Sultan. In the director’s move to reinforce Jasmine’s empowerment, it is not her father who finally changes the law allowing for her to marry Aladdin; Jasmine is instead named Sultan and given the power to rewrite her destiny for herself. Its an easy move, but it reveals something complicated about writing happy endings for the self-expressive hero who succeeds in rising above family and tradition.

It’s after Jasmine’s father witnesses her display of courageous speech that he finally recognizes that she is capable of replacing him on the throne. The final scene is of her father embracing her and affirming the identity she has longed for others to see. Why is that ending moving and why is it almost the only way for Disney to wrap things up with a happily ever after? If Jasmine has finally stood up to the established powers, if she has finally found her own internal strength, why does she need her father to affirm it?

The ending works because, though it can never be acknowledged, this new hero needs not just self-confidence but the affirming recognition of others they love. And this is where the whole modern identity narrative collapses on itself. The peak of self-expression turns out to be another’s affirmation.

We desperately want not to need the approval of anyone but ourselves, but we can’t help longing for our self to be affirmed by a meaningful other. The philosopher Charles Taylor offers a whole chapter to this irony in his book, The Ethics of Authenticity. Taylor points out that in an age of individuality, we continue to find personal relationships and romance salvific. He explains, “it reflects something else that is important here: the acknowledgment that our identity requires recognition by others.”

Our need to have our uniqueness affirmed by others means that our relationships are fundamentally changed. Love is no longer self-sacrificing but motivated by the continual affirmation of another in recognizing and supporting our individuality. The true friend and parent is not the one who challenges but the one who affirms and recognizes the uniqueness of our identity. The irony is that our unique self-expressions are only unique when they are recognized by another. Our self-sufficiency has a dependency.

Jasmine’s story fails the first literary convention of all great characters, they must go through a change. The only change this new hero is capable of creating is in another. Jasmine may be able to reform the stuffy traditional expectations of her father into new affirmations and acceptance, but she undergoes no fundamental change and offers little opportunity for the audience.

Aladdin is freed from the temptation of power by sacrificing his self-interest for the interests of the genie. But Jasmine? What does she sacrifice? How is she changed? It is her father who controls her, and it is her father who finally offers her the affirmation she has longed for. Far from empowering Jasmine, the story fizzles out not knowing how to lift her above her family’s expectations and finally her family’s approval. Disney can’t find a way for Jasmine to escape the very dependence she rejects.

Disney’s failure is thinking that this new hero narrative can simply be slipped into an ancient story; after all, the Aladdin story traces its roots back to ancient times. But what was meant for empowerment, simply doesn’t go far enough. My daughter needs female heroes who do more than speak. She needs heroes who reflect deeply within themselves, who know their own flaws, who challenge and push themselves, and who are capable of rising above temptation for the good of those they love. The affirmation my daughter will need to produce that kind of courage isn’t found in culture or even from her father. The affirmation she needs is in Christ. But that’s a story Disney will continually struggle to tell.

And if the state of our current world is any indication of how this self-expressive hero story really ends, its far from a happily ever after. Studies continue to find that anxiety rates are increasing. People are more isolated and lonely than ever before. We are divided, agitated, restless, frustrated, and yet more determined to find our own way. We look more like street thieves than heroes.

We want a father’s embrace and despise his authority at the same time. We want self-confidence but depend on others to affirm it. The story we keep being handed isn’t working. I think Aladdin puts on display a need which three wishes, accumulated power, nor self-expression can ultimately fulfill. So we go on looking for the diamond in the rough.

“Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it.” Luke 17:33

When season eight of Game of Thrones (GOT) premiered this year, HBO estimated that 17.4 million viewers were watching. Considering GOT is one of the most pirated shows in history, that number is probably much higher. HBO has spent more than 90 million dollars marketing the final season, and experts are estimating that the finale may beat the premier’s record viewership.

There is no disputing that the show has forever changed how we think about entertainment and left a deep impression on our culture. It has captured the attention of a generation and sparked endless debates, maybe nowhere more than within the church. Just google “Should Christians watch Game of Thrones?” and brace yourself for debates as fierce as the show itself.


This article is going to have two big problems that need to be addressed straightaway. First, I have never watched 2 seconds of the show, though you would have to live under a rock to not know about it. I realize, for many, that may disqualify me from having an opinion. I’m not unaware of your concerns. As a positive, there is far less risk I’ll spoil an ending.

Second, the way these conversations tend to go is that when I admit that I have not watched the show due to my concern with its graphic nature, both sexually and violently, you tend to lump me in with, what you imagine to be, all the other stuffy-nay-sayers. You do it quite justifiably, assuming I’ve lumped you in with all the other sex-obsessed libertine Millennials. (I’m actually a millennial as well, though I hate being categorized by that title just as much as you do).

The one thing most apparent to me is that the church has no clue how to talk about Game of Thrones. The level of our discourse seems to have only been able to rise to the level of, “It’s so good!” and “It’s so bad!” What we are missing is the challenging work of theology. That is, attempting to understand how the reality of God and his revelation of Christ intervene in this world and our time, how his kingdom has come and how the decisions we now make either refect it or distract from it.

So, where I hope this conversation can go is down a less worn path. Setting aside our personal opinions on what Christians should and shouldn’t watch, I think it’s worth considering what Game of Thrones, and our culture’s obsession with it, demonstrates about you and I. If I can articulate why you find yourself so interested in it, maybe you can recognize my hesitation for it. Sound fair?

I want to look at three theologies, that due to their anemic and underdeveloped form are limiting our ability to think deeply about watching shows like GOT.

  1. 1. A Theology of Nihilism
  2. 2. A Theology of FOMO
  3. 3. A Theology of Clothes

Not your typical systematic theology, I realize.

1. A Theology of Nihilism

Game of Thrones is the kind of show that sounds massively appealing to me. Having grown up with The Lord of the Rings Extended Edition Boxed Set and having spent many hours building Lego castles complete with my own shielded warrior armies, I find the immersive medieval world of GOT intriguing, dragons and all.

Game of Thrones is based on a series of books written by George R. R. Martin. I’ve never heard Martin credit J. R. R. Tolkien with his choice of name initialism, but Martin has often spoken of the influence Tolkien had on his interest in fantasy fiction. Tolkien’s trilogy format and immersive world building are now foundational components of modern fantasy.

The themes behind The Lord of the Rings (LOTR) reflect Tolkien’s personal and horrific experience fighting in the trenches of WWI and his deeply held Catholic faith. In fact, Tolkien’s friendship is credited with having led C. S. Lewis to the Christian faith. While LOTR is not explicitly Christian, its hopeful tone and values of friendship, honor, and self-sacrifice are evident to most. You can imagine Lewis thinking of Tolkien when he wrote, “The world does not need more Christian literature. What it needs is more Christians writing good literature.”

But as influential as Tolkien was in forming the fantasy interests of Martin, Martin had one primary problem with The Lord of the Rings: it was too optimistic and too simplistic. In an interview with Rolling Stone, Martin explained:

“Tolkien can say that Aragorn became king and reigned for a hundred years, and he was wise and good. But Tolkien doesn’t ask the question: What was Aragorn’s tax policy? Did he maintain a standing army? What did he do in times of flood and famine? And what about all these orcs? By the end of the war, Sauron is gone but all of the orcs aren’t gone – they’re in the mountains. Did Aragorn pursue a policy of systematic genocide and kill them? Even the little baby orcs, in their little orc cradles?”

Game of Thrones is alternatively an exploration of these unaddressed questions—power and politics in its most brutal and nihilistic forms. It is a world without God, without values, awash in Darwinian survival of the fittest. Martin and the show’s producers wanted to make this not only clear but shockingly clear to their audience.

The series will always be remembered for initially leading viewers to believe it was a story framed around the heroic Ned Stark—played by Sean Bean, by far the most recognized actor on the show and known in large part for his role in The Lord of the Rings. To the surprise of the audience, Stark was shockingly beheaded in season one. The statement intended was as brutal as the act. This is not Tolkien’s story. This is not about heroes. This was a rebellion against the stories you’ve previously been told.

When asked what he thought made GOT such a success, Bean explained:

“I mean, the sheer balls of the thing. It takes no prisoners. It touches upon all those very deep emotions — anger and jealousy and love and hate. People can see themselves in it. The characters might seem out of this world, but they’re very much like all of us. And anything can happen. When you can kill the main character in the first series, everybody’s in danger! It’s pure fantasy, but rooted in issues with power — the power of the throne, the power of the families, and the lengths that they would go to to achieve this ultimate power, which is quite a curious thing.”

That topic is a curious one for Martin as well. Martin was a conscious objector to Vietnam and has acknowledged how that war led him to question the ways in which power is used and manipulated in our own world. Again, he explains his thoughts to Rolling Stone:

“Why did anybody go to Vietnam? Were the people who went more patriotic? Were they braver? Were they stupider? Why does anybody go? What’s all this based on? It’s all based on an illusion: You go because you’re afraid of what will happen if you don’t go, even if you don’t believe in it. But where do these systems of obedience come from? Why do we recognize power instead of individual autonomy? These questions are fascinating to me. It’s all this strange illusion, isn’t it?”

In comparing Martin’s Game of Thrones to Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, you might not find a better line than Martin’s. “Why do we recognize power instead of individual autonomy?” While Lord of the Rings captured the struggle of Froddo to pay the personal price required to bear the ring and saving Middle Earth, GOT is a story about the lengths we will go to protect our power and defend our autonomy. It is a world in which individuals are brutalized and objectified by power claims and power grabs. Martin forces us to face the raw potential of power used for self-preservation.

Martin has resisted the idea that his story is Nihilistic though, insisting that his “worldview is anything but nihilistic.” To be fair, Martin effectively puts on display the real brokenness of humanity and reveals to us the raw potential of our self-interests. If it is nihilistic, as so many critics have suggested, Martin sees this truth as necessary to capture the realistic condition of humanity. Fantasy has long been a tool for displaying our lives in ways contemporary portrayals would never be allowed to do.

It’s this reason that has prompted many to find the show’s horrific depictions of violence, torture, and unprecedented nudity necessary to capture the nihilistic existence the show wants us to feel.

Our infatuation with these nihilistic stories is hardly new for society, though. There was the cultural obsession with Christopher Nolan’s Joker and the equally brutal and award-winning No Country for Old Men. While it may be that writers like Martin have intended their nihilistic stories to catch us off guard and shock us into seeing something of our own horrific nature, we have done something equally shocking in our consumption.

As an illustration, there are plenty of other movies which aim to depict human depravity and force us to acknowledge our manipulation of power. Consider Schindler’s List. While not as nihilistic in its final message, the show includes graphic violence and nudity which IMDB ranks as “Severe.” But the striking difference lies in our reaction to it. No one is throwing Schindler’s List cosplay parties. There’s no Schindler’s List night at the ballpark. No ones hashtagging selfies with Schindler’s List movie props. And absolutely no one is taking online tests to determine “which Schindler’s List character you are.”

You can tease out philosophical, even spiritual implications from Game of Throne’s nihilistic tone, but maybe more shocking than its content is how it has captured our culture as entertainment. That our culture can look into the horrific truth of our own depravity and find it strangely thrilling, that’s something worth thinking about—an IKEA coach, a bag of popcorn, and an evening of nihilism.

Nihilism and Our Inverted Maturity

While we host watch parties and spend Sunday nights bingeing on broken humanity with our friends, we imagine that our ability to stomach it is actually a sign of our maturity. Listen to someone try and recommend the show to a friend. “It’s so good. I mean there is a lot of bad stuff, but if you can get past that, the show is so good.” Eventually, you’ll get the, “it doesn’t cause me to sin.” Fair enough.  But anyone who suggests that the show is contrary to Christian values is quickly written-off as judgmental, stuffy, and immature in their understanding of culture, art, and the general reality of things. Being “in on it” has become the new maturity.

And it’s not just me pointing out this trend. The Canadian philosopher Charles Taylor in his monumental, A Secular Age, explains similarly:

“This means that this ideal of the courageous acknowledger of unpalatable truths, ready to eschew all easy comfort and consolation, and who by the same token becomes capable of grasping and controlling the world, sits well with us, draws us, that we feel tempted to make it our own. And/or it means that the counter-ideals of belief, devotion, piety, can all-too-easily seem actuated by a still immature desire for consolation, meaning, extra-human sustenance.”

In a nihilistic world which GOT depicts, the person who stands for “belief, devotion, piety” is thought to be immature and usually quickly beheaded. Any desire for meaning or transcendent “sustenance” is a sign of naiveté. True transcendence and maturity is the man who can courageously acknowledge unpalatable truths and crush the comfort and conclusions of weaker positions.

We find the person willing to go where no one else has most courageous, and we find ourselves oddly drawn to their confidence and displays of nerve. Our heroes become those willing to repudiate heroics. And so we come to, as Paul would put it, glory in our shame, or at least what once shamed us.

This isn’t strictly a religious argument I’m attempting to make. In 1985, Neil Postman published Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business. In the introduction of the book, he compares two dystopian views of our future. One is represented by George Orwell’s 1984. Orwell imagined society run by a “big brother,” a dominating governmental bureaucracy which denied human rights and controlled every detail of life. He imagined we would be controlled by force. Alternatively, Postman also considered Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World. Huxley saw our enslavement coming not by power but by pleasure. He imagined a world in which we were pacified by entertainment.

Postman concluded, “There are two ways by which the spirit of a culture may be shriveled. In the first—the Orwellian—culture becomes a prison. In the second—the Huxleyan—culture becomes a burlesque.” Postman warned about a world which devolves into entertainment. Where experience and shock capture so much of our attention that we forget how to pay attention to things less easily consumed. We no longer debate ideas but argue about celebrities, fads, and sitcom plots.

We imagine ourselves mature, thoughtful, and independent, but our hunger for more entertainment enslaves us to shallowness. It’s not GOT’s nihilism, which ultimately concerns me; the Bible has stories from the book of Judges that leave you feeling pretty nihilistic. The Bible depicts incest, rape, sexual exploit, genocide, and horrific violence, and it’s used for the similar effect of revealing our brokenness, but those stories never deteriorate into forms of pop-entertainment.

As Postman explained, “The problem is not that television presents us with entertaining subject matter but that all subject matter is presented as entertaining, which is another issue altogether.”

That deterioration is happening all around us. Consider how educational channels like TLC (The Learning Channel) and Discovery have now given us Honey Boo Boo, My 600lb Life, Sister Wives, Naked and Afraid, Pawn Stars, and the Amish Mafia. VH1, once known for playing music videos, has turned to shows like Dating Naked. Even CNN has opted for bizarre food and exotic world travel. Our appetite for more entertainment continues to press producers to keep up.

Where Does This Nihilism Come From?

Our desire to entertain ourselves with shocking depictions of depravity has a motive. And it’s part of the inevitable consequence of embracing a nihilistic worldview, of rejecting moral authority. The philosopher Nietzsche defined nihilism this way, “What does nihilism mean? That the highest values devaluate themselves… ‘Why?’ finds no answer.”

You can think of nihilism as a flattening of all values. Nihilism doesn’t mean that there are no values, only that there is no hierarchy of values or transcendent authority by which values are compared. Nihilism is fundamentally the absence of any authority or responsibility to a higher power. Without the traditional expectations of submission to this authority, we are each left to determine how values should be constructed personally.

Nietzsche famously captured this new reality in his parable of the madman. He writes:

“God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we, murderers of all murderers, console ourselves? That which was the holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet possessed has bled to death under our knives. Who will wipe this blood off us? With what water could we purify ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we not ourselves become gods simply to be worthy of it?”

Without the authority of God, what is left to call valuable? If there is no human accountability to the divine, how do we determine what is valuable? Nietzsche’s depiction of God’s death inaugurated an age skeptical of all authority. No one has any authoritative right to tell another person what to think, believe, or value. Nihilism thus turns our attention to the only thing that is left, ourselves. Existence is flattened to the individual. This is precisely the world GOT depicts. It is a world in which each character must pragmatically determination their own way and the means by which they will find it.

Similarly, our world now sees all value judgments concerning another person as claims of power. Suggesting that another person’s actions might be morally wrong feels like a prideful reach for authority. In the flattened world of nihilism, nothing can be implied, inferred, or inherited, which is not grounded first in a personal benefit. Otherwise, it is seen as a claim to authority and a manipulative use of power.

For instance, anyone who suggests you might turn the show off for moral reasons is considered stepping beyond their rights and implying authority over someone else. What’s wrong for you is personal. And what’s right for me is personal.

While this disorienting reality of having no ultimate right or wrong—what Nietzsche described as using a “sponge to wipe away the entire horizon”—may seem hopeless, Nietzsche was ultimately optimistic about our ability to construct a new morality. If nothing was inherited, then we would create the values that served us best. We would become the transcendent ourselves. We would, as Nietzsche put it, be left to become our own gods.

The impact of this nihilistic perspective is the inevitable elevation of the individual as sovereign. Each person is given the task of discovering their own values. Personal transcendence replaces knowledge of the transcendent. Our heroes become those capable of defying the old expectations and demonstrating their uniqueness. And we find the shocking depictions of traditional lines being crossed ever more entertaining. Nothing feels more empowering than watching others go where we’ve been told we can’t.

Lord of the Rings captured our attention with hope and the possibility of good beating the odds against evil. Game of Thrones has captured our attention with its attempt to liberate us from the supposed power structures of tradition, expectations, and the world of established values. We find ourselves imagining we are mature, empowered, and free when we find ourselves most entertained, shocked, and nonchalant.

2. A Theology of the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

This is where you’re probably thinking, I’m not so sure about nihilism. I just watch Game of Thrones because it’s so good. In a culture of binge-watching, GOT has been described as the most binge-worthy show in history. With eight seasons, the show now offers nearly 48 hours streamable on HBO. At the time of my writing, there are seventy-one episodes.

As one viewer, attempting to catch up on the show, explained, “I have FOMO and I almost never have FOMO about anything. It feels like literally, everybody but me is watching the show, and while that’s not true, it might as well be. But people I love to talk pop culture with are all watching and I have to stand outside the fence, dragging my shoes in the dirt waiting for the conversation to change to something I’m up on.”

The fear of missing out on one of the greatest shows in history, the thing everyone is constantly tweeting about, is a real kind of fear. And even if not outright anxiety, it has proved to be more than many can resist. Laugh all you want, but psychologists have quantitatively identified FOMO and describe it as, “‘the uneasy and sometimes all-consuming feeling that you’re missing out – that your peers are doing, in the know about, or in possession of more or something better than you. Under this framing of FOMO, nearly three-quarters of young adults reported they experienced the phenomenon.”

This is where we need to momentarily step back into our conversation on philosophical nihilism. Not everyone was as optimistic about humanities ability to construct values in the absence of divine authority as Nietzsche. Let me introduce you to the 20th Century German philosopher Martin Heidegger.

Heidegger feared that with a flattened value system, and with each individual now tasked with finding their own meaning and guiding principles, most would retreat into private experience as a means of establishing value. As each person looked for significance, inevitably experience would become the dominating arbiter of values. We would use our feelings and personal experiences to construct what seemed most valuable to each of us. Heidegger believed our society’s ultimate value would eventually shift to experience itself.

In his essay on Heidegger, Nihilism, and Art Burkley Professor Hubert L. Dreyfus writes:

“Heidegger sees this move to private experience as characteristic of the modern age. Art, religion, sex, education—all become varieties of experience. When all our concerns have been reduced to the common denominator of ‘experience,’ we will have reached the last stage of nihilism. One then sees ‘the plunge into frenzy and the disintegration into sheer feeling as redemptive. The lived experience as such becomes decisive.'”

I want to be very clear about what Heidegger is saying because it is profoundly important. As we more often depend on experience to validate our values, realities such as art, religion, sex, education, and entertainment itself become redemptive. They take on redemptive significance because of their ability to awaken emotional experiences in us, the pursuit of which shape meaning and serve as our new morality. Our feelings become transcendent. Experiences become salvific. Morality becomes relativized to individual preference and taste. We prove what is right by how it makes us feel. Even as believers, our faith itself can shift into subjective categories of experience and emotionally derived morality.

Our generation is living in what Heidegger imagined would be the final stage of Nihilism. And, though he would have probably been forced to sheepishly ask his twenty-something granddaughter to explain the acronym, I think Heidegger would have recognized FOMO as evidence of our condition. In a world where experiences form our most important pursuits, where those experiences now serve to replace religious traditions of meaning and authority, how would we not fear that we are missing out on what others are finding? The world offers more experience than any life can explore. When do we ever sleep?

As Heidegger put it, “The loss of the gods is so far from excluding religiosity that rather only through that loss is the relation of the gods changed into mere “religious experience.” Experience itself becomes our religion. We have traded the actual transcendent authority of God for the pursuit of experiences which feel transcendent. The only authority is our personal pursuit of adventure.

A recent study conducted by the event registration company Eventbrite found that 69 percent of millennials experience this FOMO when they are left out of an event attended by their close friends and family, and the study concluded, “For millennials, FOMO is not just a cultural phenomenon, it’s an epidemic.” Or consider this recent article title from Adweek—a publication chronicling trends in the advertising industry—”Ways Marketers Can Successfully Leverage FOMO Amongst Millennials.” When marketers are “leveraging” it, you can be sure it’s real. Capitalism has no margins for philosophical pontificating. Adweek talks about your FOMO because they know just how much it impacts the decision you make and the money you spend.

The irony is that our generation is starting to show the signs of being crushed by the very philosophy that was intended to free us. We have been given a world in which we are free to construct our own values. Erased is the tired and worn morality of previous generations. What Nietzsche described as, “herd animal morality.” We are more enlightened. Ours would be a world of tolerance, encouragement, and liberation. A world where each person could live the life most meaningful to them. The world was placed in our hands, and the treasure was ours to find. We rolled our eyes at the notions of God, holiness, judgment, and authority and then returned to our frantic searching, more and more afraid we’re missing it, and never quite convinced we’ve found it. To again use Nietzche’s line, “Do we not feel the breath of empty space?”

You might think it’s a stretch to suggest that Millennials are trading God for GOT, after all, plenty worship Sunday morning and watch Sunday night. We want all the experiences. There are plenty of Christians who see no problem in participating. My question is maybe a more important one though, not why would you watch it, but why do you find it so difficult not to? What are you afraid of missing out on?

I think our fear of missing out on Game of Thrones reveals that, though we imagine ourselves independent, self-expressive, and morally mature, we are desperately insecure and not wanting to be left out on anything that might offer even a moment of meaning.

3. A Theology of Clothes

Bodies and swords are often the weapons of rebellion. Game of Thrones has spared little in utilizing both. Entertainment Weekly calculated that in the first 67 episodes of GOT there are “a whopping 82 nude scenes.” The list of scenes on IMDB are awkward and graphic, even to read, including rape, incest, and full frontal male and female nudity.

That has caused many to raise boisterous concerns, which have been met by equally boisterous counter-reactions. A GOT cast member lamented to one UK news agency, “why are we so offended by nudity anyway because you’re seeing things that everyone’s already got?” After fans complained that women were primarily the ones being undressed on the show, a social media campaign to “free the [member]” was waged online and the show responded as demanded.

I’ve been surprised by how many Christians seem indifferent to watching such displays. I’ve met none who endorse it, but most shrug their shoulders and surrender to the way our culture is today. And this is where things continue to get more confusing. Our concept of nudity is fundamentally changing, and our conversations on the question often seem incomprehensible.

Consider that half of millennials admit to having sent naked selfies. Who knows how many more have taken them. Millennials are behind nationwide efforts to repeal public exposure laws. Gallop reports that 59% of 18-34 year-olds saw pornography as morally acceptable. And when segmented by those who said, “Religion is very important,” 22% still saw no moral issue with pornography. One study found that a significant percentage of young Millenials ranked not recycling as worse than viewing pornographic material.

The data, scientific and anecdotal, has led some to declare Millennials the most sexually promiscuous culture in history. But Millennials rarely describe themselves that way. And there are plenty of sources to demonstrate the opposite. Studies have found that Millenials are having less sex than previous generations. Some have even called Millennials a modest generation. And if you want some really interesting studies, search online for how condominiums and public gyms are catering to Millennials who prefer not to be nude in public showers or even in their own homes when sharing a bathroom with a partner or spouse. Some high-end developments now are building his and her bathrooms.

There is something fundamentally different about how Millennials see the human body and think about nudity. At its best, Millennials have rightfully argued that a body is not an object to be sexualized, a serious critique of our parent’s generation. Many suggest that GOT uses nudity in a way that is not sexual or pornographic at all but rather artistic and required to express the true nature of its characters. I suspect there is something more being hidden in even our non-sexualized interest in nudity.

Let me demonstrate with an example. A few years ago the actress Jenifer Lawrence was the victim of a cyber-hacking which stole her personal nude photos and posted them online. In an interview with Vanity Fair, Lawrence argued, “Anybody who looked at those pictures, you’re perpetuating a sexual offense. I didn’t tell you that you could look at my naked body. It’s my body, and it should be my choice, and the fact that it is not my choice is absolutely disgusting.”

By the way, I couldn’t agree more that the crime and mass-consumption are both disgusting, yet Time magazine pointed out the interesting fact that Lawrence poised topless for the very cover of the Vanity Fair issue which included her statements about that hacking.

In the article, “How Nudity Became the New Normal,” Time went on to offer this statement by sexuality educator Dr. Logan Levkoff. “It’s our image, it’s not us,” she explains. “We’re not engaging with someone face to face, so the perception is that we’re not vulnerable.” The fundamental issue for many Millennials is not nudity but the power of an individual to express their strength through their body. Dr. Levkoff goes on to say something remarkable, “The majority of adolescents who are out there naked, it’s not because they’re necessarily comfortable, it’s because they want to show people they’re comfortable.”

In other words, nudity has become a cultural symbol of self-acceptance, confidence, and strength. In previous generations, nudity was almost exclusively sexualized. Nudity was a marketing tool for drawing attention. It’s not that nudity is now never sexual, hardly, but Millennials think of nudity in terms broader than sexuality.

If experience has become the dominant value of my generation, than its closest partner is acceptance. Any value, honestly and passionately held by another, is no better than your own. Acceptance of our differences is the highest dogma. But accepting one another has proven far easier than accepting ourselves. While we enthusiastically affirm the choices of others, we struggle to feel self-confidence. We struggle to accept ourselves with the same enthusiasm. Nudity has become a tool, not just of rebellion against traditional prudishness but against self-vulnerability. Barring all is the test of ultimate self-confidence and that confidence is the highest ideal—to accept yourself. Being nude and unashamed feels like reversing the cures, which is another way to describe heaven. Ultimate self-acceptance is the highest ideal. And so our magazines are an endless parade of celebrities taking their stand by bearing their bodies.

To again quote from times article:

“It’s the difference between posing nude and feeling naked. We use “naked” and “nude” like synonyms, but there have always been differences between bare bodies, even in art history. A naked figure is supposed to have clothes on, but doesn’t (like the naked woman surrounded by clothed men in Manet’s Luncheon on the Grass.) A nude figure doesn’t have to worry about pesky social conventions like pants, because it’s usually some kind of Classical or Biblical hero, like Michelangelo’s David.”

Nakedness is vulnerability, but a confident nude figure is the stuff of Biblical heroics.

With this shift, the modest expectation of our Christian communities, predicated on notions of purity, have been heard as a form of oppression. Any authority or judgment concerning what a person wears, or doesn’t wear, is considered to be robbing an individual of their sacred right to self-expression and self-determination. The iconic red capes of The Handmaiden’s Tale capture the Millennial take perfectly. Conformity and expectations are tyranny. Put on more clothes sounds something like, “shut up and know your place.” Alternative nudity promises liberation and expresses the nihilistic ideal of self-acceptance alone.

What the church is missing is not a theology of purity or nudity but a theology of clothes. My youth group talked a lot about avoiding nakedness in all its forms; what we didn’t get was a proper theological view on why we wear clothes at all.

You might remember from the garden that clothing was first introduced by Adam and Eve in their mad scramble to cover up their guilt and shame. Their nakedness had them feeling vulnerability for the first time. It’s always fascinated me that the first consequence of sin was our realization of nakedness. It’s as if, having spent their whole lives with their eyes fixed on the goodness of God, the goodness of creation, and the goodness of their partner, they had never looked down to see themselves. Having eaten the forbidden fruit for their own gain, they suddenly shifted their gaze down to themselves and were shocked to realize they were naked. All this time, they had been exposed. Vulnerability entered the world.

They had attempted to take God’s place, to replace his values with their own. What they gained was not the confidence of self-actualization or defiant nudity but instead the shame of their own nakedness. And they hid.

What you would imagine God doing, as his first real act of grace, would be to restore their idealistic nudity back to how they had been created. Instead, God replaced their sloppily pinned fig leaves with garments of animal skin. God covered them. Unlike animals, we wear clothes. It is the memory of our fall, the unsolvable problem of vulnerability.

Clothes are a sign of humility. They are a sign of our naked state. They are a sign that the solution to our deepest fears and insecurities lies not within us but beyond us. We are in need of a covering.

Our clothes are not symbols of status, wealth, taste, nor a work of self-expression. What matters most is not how they make us feel or what we like. Our clothes remind us that we are not in a nihilistic world. They remind us that we have been promised new and eternal garments, white and spotless. They remind us that our confidence can never be secure in our own naked bodies. Our clothes demonstrate that we are submissive to a higher power and that God’s values are not for our shame but for our defense.

I fear that Christians casual participation in a culture of unclothing risks our participation in a rebellion against God. More than being a question of just sexuality, lust, and purity, it is an act of open defiance against authority and the transcendence of God. And you think it’s no big deal.

Eat, Drink, For Tomorrow, We Watch Game of Thrones

My choice not to watch Game of Thrones is not about ego or judgment. I do it as an act of subversion. God’s people have always been a peculiar people. I want in on that. I want to call out insecurity parading itself as maturity and confidence. I want to expose the game we’re all playing. Sunday night, I won’t be watching. Instead, I think I might go for a walk with my wife and kids.

That’s no guilt trip. But don’t be naive. Don’t surrender to the ways this world manipulates and sells your fears. Don’t live for shock. Don’t give in to nihilism. Stand for something greater than passing moments of thrill. Articulate more than fandom. Search for more than an experience. Trust a transcendence higher than yourself. Hold on to a value larger than you could self construct. Hold on to Christ. Enjoy him. Taste and see. Drink and be thirsty no more. You’re not missing out by turning it off.

“One way to define spiritual life is getting so tired and fed up with yourself you go on to something better, which is following Jesus.” — Eugene H. Peterson

Round of applause for yourself. If you are reading this, you are a part of the minority these days.

A 2016 study conducted by Columbia University found that 59% of the links shared on social media weren’t ever clicked by the person who shared them. That means almost 60% of the articles your friends recommended to you, they never read.

Which, in case you aren’t getting it by now, explains the title of this article and the applause for having made it this far.

The truth is, most of us have been guilty of it. A clever or controversial headline scrolls into view, and there you go clicking like and sharing with no more than a passing chuckle or nod of affirmation. A thousand words lay behind that headline, you read none of them. Maybe you opened the article—scrolled through to skim the subheadlines; maybe you actually read some of it; but the majority of the articles shared on your newsfeed aren’t being read at all.

Welcome to the world of headlines—and you thought trying to say something profound with just 140 characters was a challenge. Insights now come compressed into a “4-simple steps” sound bite.

The Subtle Art of Self-Manipulation

Writing a good headline is a richly rewarded art/science. Copywriters have always known it, but these days its the whole game. Just do a google search for “headlines that convert.” There are online headline generators to help increase your chances of getting shared.

One of the key success metrics for most content creators is social engagement. A writer may spend days crafting their argument and fact-checking their sources, but writers know the headline is what counts. Often, the writer isn’t even writing their own headlines. An editor with enough distance from the actual work is better positioned to offer a title that will ensure it gets the best engagement.

Social engagement matters. Social networks want to surface content that gets engagement. If you like it, and your friends like it, Facebook and Twitter are far more willing to keep exposing the content to friends down the line. And an insider hunch, Facebook and Twitter make more money through advertising when you don’t click through to an article, but like, share, and keep scrolling on their platform.

Put it all together, 59% of sharers base their decision on a featured image and a headline—that’s ground for their social approval and the public endorsement of an idea. Content creators keep refining their headlines hoping for a viral moment. Platforms keep promoting the headlines earning the engagement. And after thousands of impressions and hundreds of shares, maybe a handful of people actually read the whole article.

Opinions Easily Shared

The fast-paced nature of our social liking—requiring only our thumb—allows us to offer an opinion without the taxing responsibility of actually forming one. How many times have you liked a post before considering if you really do in fact like it?

What motivates this mindless sharing? Self-definition. A big part of our sharing is defining ourselves and receiving social confirmation of our identity. We share headlines to position ourselves. Far easier than having to read is leading others to believe you have read. A New York Time study found that 68% of people share content to give others a better sense of who they are. A quick headline share is an easy vehicle for articulating your persona of opinions.

A generation ago, most opinions reached only as far as the local diner’s morning coffee gossip. You might have an opinion, but there weren’t very many people interested in hearing it. But an opinion with only the click of a button, that’s a new world.

It’s a world we have been warned about. From Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business, Neil Postman.

“In America, everyone is entitled to an opinion, and it is certainly useful to have a few when a pollster shows up. But these are opinions of a quite different order from eighteenth- or nineteenth-century opinions. It is probably more accurate to call them emotions rather than opinions, which would account for the fact that they change from week to week, as the pollsters tell us.

What is happening here is that television is altering the meaning of ‘being informed’ by creating a species of information that might properly be called disinformation. I am using this word almost in the precise sense in which it is used by spies in the CIA or KGB. Disinformation does not mean false information. It means misleading information–misplace, irrelevant, fragmented or superficial information–information that creates the illusion of knowing something but which in fact leads one away from knowing…

I am saying something far more serious than that we are being deprived of authentic information. I am saying we are losing our sense of what it means to be well informed. Ignorance is always correctable. But what shall we do if we take ignorance to be knowledge?”

Or as Postman puts it more succinctly later, “People will come to adore the technologies that undo their capacities to think”

Postman had in mind television. The torrent of social media news and opinions is a multiplication he could never have comprehended, but it’s the oxygen we breathe.

To Read Or Not To Read?

So, what are my four simple steps for curing the world of uninformed and hastily made opinions… I got nothin’.

Well, there is this—we could start by actually reading.

But then again, you’re already in the 41%.

This winter, Netflix officially removed Moana from its catalog of streaming movies, a devastating blow to my house with two pre-schoolers. It had easily been the most played show on our account for the better part of 2018.

My kids love Moana, and I have to admit, I’ve enjoyed it too. Thankfully my kids are young enough to have missed out on the Frozen craze. I’d take listening to Moana over Elisa any day. The music and incredible visuals make Moana a movie hard not to like and hard not to get stuck in your head.

The Hero’s Journey

Upon Moana’s release in 2016, The Verge wrote: “after 80 years of experiments, Disney has made the perfect Disney movie.” Families seem to have come to a similar conclusion. My four-year-old son has even managed to request the movie’s soundtrack by asking our Amazon Echo to play “the crab song” or “the Maui song.” Enough kids must be putting in the request for Alexa’s algorithm to have learned that “the crab song” is actually “Shiny by Jemaine Clement.” That song has almost 200 million views on youtube, coming in behind “How Far I’ll Go” with 395 million, and that’s not counting the unofficial bootleg copies.

Watching Moana for the first time, I was struck by the visuals. The film is beautiful. Water and hair have always been the most difficult elements for 3-D animators; it’s the reason plastic toys were a good place for Pixar to start. Tangled and Brave gave Disney a chance to master the elements of hair and Moana proved to be its final conquest of water. Disney went so far as to cast the ocean as its own character. That’s just Disney showing off.

But Moana is hailed a success because of the power of its storytelling. What’s Moana about? Well, most parents would probably tell you its a classic adventure story that gives the cliche and outdated princess characterization of a damsel in distress the modern refresh it has long needed. Moana is courageous, determined, and headstrong. She manages to save her family, restore the balance of nature, and council a Demigod out of his self-loathing and back into his own heroic tale. Moana is drawn into this epic role by the call of the ocean—the call to adventure. That call is intoxicating for young and old, maybe more so for the millennial parents stuck in nine-to-five cubicles and sprawling suburban subdivisions. You might say the moral of Moana is simply, follow your inner passion and become who you were truly meant to be.

That’s not a new theme for Disney. They have been refining that story for years. This inner search for a true identity stretches all the way back to a cricket and his famous advice, “when you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are. Anything your heart desires will come to you.” But even that isn’t ultimately Disney’s innovation. Disney’s model for the modern adventure and hero can trace its roots back to men like Joseph Campbell.

Campbell was a mythologist, a 1940s Indiana Jones-type who traveled to exotic places in those silver piston prop planes out of Casablanca. Campbell explored some of the most remote people groups of the world and collected their myths—stories about creation and struggle, the volatile temperaments of their gods, and, on occasion, the heroes who triumphed over it all. After years of collecting these stories, Campbell developed what he coined “the monomyth”: the single plot encompassing all great legends across every religion and tribe.

Campbell explained:

“The usual hero adventure begins with someone from whom something has been taken, or who feels there is something lacking in the normal experience available or permitted to the members of society. The person then takes off on a series of adventures beyond the ordinary, either to recover what has been lost or to discover some life-giving elixir.”

Eventually, Campbell would come to crystallize his story framework into the now universal advice, “follow your bliss.”

Campbell’s universal plot for a hero’s journey is quickly becoming our culture’s expectations for finding each of our identities. Disney writers and animators often knowledge the work of Campbell as inspiration for their own storytelling. Campbell’s hero arc has shaped movies like The Lion King, The Matrix, The Hunger Games, and Star Wars. George Lucas was religious in his devotion to Campbell’s work.

I realize I’m now at the laborious point where you, as the reader, are getting tired. You expected a puff piece on some heartfelt life lesson from Moana, and instead, you are being dragged into the under-arching narrative supper-structure of Disney storytelling with its implications for developing culture, all of this like some banal college lecture on literary plot diagraming. But I think it’s worth being aware of what you’re watching.

The stories our culture is telling serve as the scaffolding for a modern society and an ideal human identity. Every movie your child watches speaks a word about who they are and how they should identify with the world around them. And Disney, along with our broader culture, has been slowly shifting the portrayal of a hero to shape the cultural shift in our values.

Tim Keller has done important work in diagnosing this modern adaptation of the hero identity. He writes:

“Our cultures are highly individualistic. There is no duty higher than plumbing the depths of your own desires to find out who you want to be. In modern narratives, the protagonist is usually a person who bravely casts off convention, breaks the rules, defies tradition and authority to discover him or herself and carve out a new place in the world. In ancient tales, the hero was the person who did just the opposite, who put aside inner dreams, aspirations, doubts, and feelings to bravely and loyally fulfill their vows and obligations.” (Think of It’s a Wonderful Life as a more modern example.)

The modern adventure story has become the tale of discovering who you want to be and embracing it with single-mindedness, no matter the cost. And while that may seem positive it makes the message of a messiah who would give his life and call us to sacrifice our own foolishness, maybe even incomprehensible.

Let me show you what the story of Moana really does.

A Girl, A Crab, And A Demigod

At the center of the Moana story is the question of identity.

Moana is born on an island. She is born a princess, daughter of the chieftain. She is born into certain expectations and responsibilities concerning her future. Much of her identity has been inherited. But her heart’s desires are incongruent with those expectations of her. Her heart pulls her out onto the open ocean. The movie opens with her family’s struggle to help her integrate who she is with the presumptions of her people—her commitments. But she battles the longing of her own “bliss.”

It’s fascinating because this debate—community expectations and self-expression—are presented in one of the movies catchiest songs, “Where you are”—what my kids call “The Island Song.”

Moana, it’s time you knew
The village of Motunui is
All you need

Don’t walk away
Moana, stay on the ground now
Our people will need a chief
And there you are

There comes a day
When you’re gonna look around
And realize happiness is
Where you are

“Happiness is where you are,” sounds like a perfectly legitimate moral for a children’s movie. But, remember, this is the setting that’s holding Moana back. It’s the expectations of the island and her family that lock Moana into a suffocating and claustrophobic version of her self. The songs are catchy, but for Moana, the expectations are crushing.

Take the movies next song. In response to her families expectations of commitment, Moana sings:

I wish I could be the perfect daughter
But I come back to the water, no matter how hard I try

I know everybody on this island, seems so happy on this island
Everything is by design
I know everybody on this island has a role on this island
So maybe I can roll with mine

I can lead with pride, I can make us strong
I’ll be satisfied if I play along
But the voice inside sings a different song
What is wrong with me?

That question—“the voice inside sings a different song”—is the conflict of the entire movie and one which resonates with a generation of parents listening from the front seats of their Honda Odysseys. Will Moana give in to the limiting expectations of others or will she bravely shed off the expectations of her community to embrace who she is as an individual.

Always pay attention to the music; the music is the driving force of Disney movies. Where Disney can say most bluntly what the story is about. Moana’s song comes at about the same point in the story that Frozen gave us “Let it go.” Maybe you remember these lines:

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I’ve tried
Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know
Let it go, let it go

Frozen sounds a lot like Moana. It is the new hero story. The struggle and test of courage to embrace who you really are, to shed the expectations of others. And so, Moana, called by the ocean with an epic responsibility to restore order, sets sail. From this point in the story, Moana’s pursuit of her own self-understanding follows a plot rising and falling with alternative possibilities for her identity:

Option One: Please People — Maui

Maui is a buff, tattooed demigod who continually rejects and mocks Moana because of her size, age, gender, and lack of way-finding skills. He can’t see the heroin inside. He mocks the ocean that calls her; he mocks the sense of destiny Moana lives by. “The ocean is straight up kooky-dooks!” The call to adventure, the call of self-discovery Moana feels it crazy. But before too long, Moana uncovers Maui’s own broken attempts to reconcile his identity.

Maui had spent his life attempting to please humans, hoping that their love and affection would help him heal the deep wounds of previous rejection. Maui too has been looking for an identity. He has been hoping to find it in the acceptance of those he serves. He has lost himself in an attempt to please others. An expression of the thing Moana has fled.

The giant crab, Tamatoa (who we will get to in just a moment) puts it pretty succinctly for Maui:

Now it’s time for me to take apart
Your aching heart
Far from the ones who abandoned you
Chasing the love of these humans
Who made you feel wanted
You tried to be tough
But your armor’s just not hard enough

Option Two: Accumulating Possession — Tamatoa

Tamatoa represents another character caught in an identity-driven crisis. His song critiquing Maui’s love for human approval offers his own alternative: possessions. Tamatoa is a giant monster crab with a cave full of remarkable treasures. In fact, Tamatoa has covered his body with a skin of gold and jewels. In case the image isn’t obvious enough, Tamatoa explains to Moana his take on identity:

Did your granny say listen to your heart,
“Be who you are on the inside”
I need three words to tear her argument apart
Your granny lied!
I’d rather be
Shiny
Like a treasure from a sunken pirate wreck
Scrub the deck and make it look
Shiny
I will sparkle like a wealthy woman’s neck

That’s pretty explicit. Tamatoa secures his identity through his accumulation of possessions. I think Disney is taking a pretty obvious shot at Baby-boomers and their accumulation of wealth—like a diamond on a wealthy woman’s neck? Nothing is more unsightly to a young millennial audience than the ostentatious displays of wealth that defined a previous generation. Rejecting adventure for a home full of money is everything millennials abhor.

Option Three: Anger and Violence — Ta Ka

With Ta Ka, Disney makes its biggest philosophical/theological point. There is also an identity crisis at the heart of the film’s quasi-villain, Ta Ka, a fire hurling lava monster who ferociously guards the ruined island of Te Fiti. Ta Ka is the obstacle to Moana’s goal, restoring the heart of Te Fiti. (By now you should be picking up on the symbolism of returning a heart to the island as a symbol of Moana learning to find and embrace her own heart).

When Moana finally reaches the island of Te Fiti, there is no island left to restore. Te Fiti is gone. But Moana realizes what everyone has been missing. The fire spewing Ta Ka is the island mother god, Te Fiti. Ta Ka is Te Fiti without a heart. With its heart removed, the creator God becomes the embodiment of violence, destruction, isolation, and rage. Te Fiti’s identity had been stolen. Without a sense of who she really was, she had transformed from a nurturer to a destroyer. From a God to a monster.

What Moana recognizes is that the villain is no villain, just a misunderstood goddess of life who, having lost her identity, now wreaked havoc. There are no villains, only individuals who have lost their own way. This is a massive point for Disney. There are no “bad guys,” only individuals who have been robbed of their individuality. Everyone has the potential to be a hero. What holds us back is a lack of faith in ourselves.

Moana suddenly finds a kind of kindred spirit with Ta Ka, protagonist and antagonist recognizing the same inner struggle. It’s one of the most moving moments of the film as Moana sings a song fittingly titled, “Know Who You Are.”

I have crossed the horizon to find you
I know your name
They have stolen the heart from inside you
But this does not define you
This is not who you are
You know who you are

It’s worth noting that Moana doesn’t tell Ta Ka who she is. She turn’s Ta Ka’s attention inward. “You know who you are.” True identity is continually pitched as an inward self-attention.

The song is sung for Ta Ka, but it is also Moana’s song. Moana’s recognition of Te Fiti is simultaneously the realization of her own identity and heroism and the cure for the darkness that is spreading from island to island. This is the real darkness, not evil but crushing expectations and lost identity.

Evil is a misidentification, a person trapped by characterization—a heart having been stolen. Hope comes by placing the heart back at the center—a person restored. Knowing who you are is the restorative salvation that puts the world back into harmony. Finding your heart and embracing it brings forth life out of darkness.

Moana is a story about embracing your true identity by embracing your heart’s deepest desires, even if it means sacrificing the expectations of those around you. Moana is a story about salvation through self-discovery.

Every Man A Hero & The Foolishness of the Cross

Disney stories tend to reflect culture. And there is no mistaking Moana as anything other than a tale of our time. Moana is a part of a much larger shifting cultural narrative that goes something like: Deep inside your heart is who you really are, but too often the traditional authorities of society—family, cultural values, and religion—are holding you back. The real adventure of life is having the courage to be yourself, to discover yourself. Judgment becomes the worst of sins and confident expressions of individuality our salvation.

A generation of kids—my kids—are being raised to believe that anything other than radical devotion to their inner desires is a capitulation. The only hope of happiness is in the pursuit of your heart’s desires. Undiscerning parents continue planting the seeds that undermine their own authority, relationships, and influence. We echo the cultural cliches because we believe them. We want the same adventure. Is it any surprise that after three decades of urging youth to “follow their bliss,” we have developed a generation awash in discontentment and shallow commitments. From restless careerism to prolonged adolescence, finding the bliss of your heart’s desires is proving far more difficult than Moana’s quest across the ocean.

It sounds so simple, follow your passions. But most days I can’t decide what to order at the drive-thru window. And I’m supposed to figure out who I want to be fifty years from now.

There is no denying good things in the story of Moana. A female heroine, her return home to her family, the risk of her own safety to restore the ecology of her island. It’s not hard to tease out more palatable morals, but the real question isn’t what good can we find. The real question is what does my son and daughter take away for themselves. The most obvious moral of Moana is that individuality is the great adventure. That is a massive shift in what it means to be a hero. And it is a shift that makes the call of Christ more and more peculiar and difficult to embrace.

From this desperate and insecure need for a self-achieved identity, we expect our children to produce values like courage, sacrifice, conviction, commitment, and respect. C.S. Lewis captures the predicament well:

“We continue to clamour for those very qualities we are rendering impossible. You can hardly open a periodical without coming across the statement that what our civilization needs is more ‘drive’, or dynamism, or self-sacrifice, or ‘creativity’. In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function. We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful.”

It’s not hard to ride the emotional wave of Moana’s self-achieved salvation all the way home from the theater. But once we arrive back home into the challenges of our pedestrian lives, it’s difficult to sustain the idea that we are each a hero—that each of us is on our own great adventure. Eventual the optimism of the opportunity turns into a crushing weight of self-expectation. Why can’t we figure it out? Why can’t we chart our own course to happily ever afters? Why are we plagued down by failure, broken relationships, and insecurity?

In a world desperately exploring-self desire and self-achievement, there is very little room for the message of the cross. Sure, the Christian gospel can be neatly replotted onto Campbell’s Hero’s Journey. You can pitch Christianity as a path to self-discovery. You can offer the gospel as a means to individuality and structure churches to play the part of guide for each religious adventurer. Most towns offer a buffet of religious options, perfect for the person seeking to construct just the right system for achieving their best life.

We may preach commitment and death-to-self, but we scramble to find the right branding, stage design, and lobby coffee to earn positive social reviews. Christ becomes our cheerleader and spiritual gift assessment the tools for self-discovery. We get obsessed with talking about calling but lose interest in the common callings of husband, father, and member. We find ways to fit the gospel into the new hero expectations of our culture. Christ calls us into our own adventure promising our own heroic self-discovery.

Plus who wants to suggest to Moana, “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” The adventure of the open seas sounds so much more appealing than self-denial and self-death. Who wants meekness and poverty when you can have adventure and achievement.

So, should you boycott Moana? I don’t think so. My kids watch it, but we also talk about it. We talk about its message. We talk about how it applies to life. We talk about how our faith helps us see things Moana doesn’t. We compare Moana’s story to Jesus’. We reconcile that often, especially in Jesus’ story, we aren’t the main character.

The point is not to boycott, but engage. Engagement means parents are going to have to think a lot more deeply about the stories the world is offering their children and how our Christian stories differ. It means we need to better understand our own hearts and desires. It means we need to question many of the cliches we speak about life and meaning. It means we need to take a long look at what our lives have reaped from self-pursuit.

Moana’s grandmother had been the first to offer Moana the potential salvation of self-discovery. She put it perfectly, “Once you know what you like, well, there you are.” It sounds so right, but it cuts deeply against the call of Christ, “Whoever loses their life for me will save it.”

This week, Benjamin Vrbicek released his new book, Don’t Just Send a Resume: How to Find the Right Job in a Local Church. I was honored to not only provide the book an endorsement but also to have contributed an article on bi-vocational ministry. Benjamin has kindly given me permission to share my portion. I hope that it helps convince you to pick up a copy.

Benjamin has also been a previous Pastor Writer podcast guest. You can listen to his episode here: Reflections on the Pursuit of Writing.

“Applying for a job as a pastor can be a strange and disorienting process. It can feel like the means used to land the job—working your connections, crafting a personal brand, positioning for a vote—are the very things you’ll want to preach against your first Sunday in the pulpit. Benjamin’s book serves as a trusted friend to help you keep hold of God in the process. Practical, wise, and well written, I don’t know of any other book as valuable during your transitions.” — Chase Replogle Pastor of Bent Oak Church, Springfield, MO; host of the Pastor Writer podcast


Your Calling Is More Than Your Paycheck: Don’t Rule Out Bi-Vocational Ministry

No one dreams of someday becoming a bi-vocational pastor with a 9-5 side hustle. I sure didn’t. Through Bible college and seminary, I had all kinds of ideas about the church I would pastor: the building, the preaching, the programs, the sermon graphics, the passionately engaged and talented congregants showing up punctually each week.

The churches we imagine so easily construct themselves on the scaffolding of our best curation, never plagued by reality but aided in the limitless potential of abstraction, the best bits and pieces we’ve collected always forming together into what we proudly call our calling—a pastor and his church. No one has to add full-time, salaried, with retirement benefits and reserved parking. It’s what we most naturally imagine when we use the word pastor.

Imagination and ambition are a part of every occupation, but given the proximity to holy and eternal things, pastors may be most prone to dream. I was, but my dream wasn’t panning out. Seven years into a church plant, it hadn’t gone exactly according to plan.

Our church started in a home basement, twenty or so people gathering on Sunday nights for food and Scripture. Before long, we gave it a name and rented space at a local community center. I started to draw a paycheck. It was about one-fifth of the income I needed to pay our monthly bills and put gas in our cars. I had to find additional work, but we sensed God was doing something. So, we continued.

In seminary I got interested in web development—I’ve always had an impractical curiosity. Alongside courses in Greek and Hebrew, I taught myself PHP, CSS, HTML, and Javascript. I started building websites for a few friends and churches. The work continued to grow. In fact, the web work grew faster than the church did. What had once been only curiosity was quickly turning into a career and also a predicament.

I was called to be a pastor, not a web designer. I was supposed to become Moses, not Zuckerberg. I was terrified that allowing web design to become my full-time job was like Moses deciding to cash in on building Nile riverboats while moonlighting the whole exodus thing on the side. How could I call myself a pastor if nearly everyone knew me as a web designer? I felt like I was losing my calling.

Calling and vocation are words we throw around, I think, without really understanding them. We live in a world that only knows how to appraise specialization and expertise. You’re allowed one calling—one vocation—anything more creates a fraction, and fractions are always a compromise, a sacrifice of real potential.

We too often confuse vocation and career. The word vocation comes from an old Latin word meaning “to be called.” Career, by alternative, comes from the Latin for a “wheeled vehicle,” literally, a wheel barrel. A career is a task, a pile of dirt that needs to be moved from one place to another, and hopefully someone is willing to pay you to do it. I mean no disrespect toward the work. There is great dignity in it, and it’s this kind that I have spent most of my life doing.  But a vocation is something far more wholistic than a timecard. Your life is made up of countless vocations, a patchwork of callings: spouse, parent, child, neighbor, citizen, hobbyist, friend, employee, follower of Christ, and, for some, pastor. No one’s life is ever a single calling.

So here it is: what I really want you to see is that your calling is not primarily defined by how you pay back student loans or purchase groceries. These are simply the logistics of life. A calling is something far more comprehensive. Your career doesn’t have to define that calling. There is room for a calling and a career.

When I finally came to this realization, something profound happened. I realized that the mark of a pastor was not his paycheck. It meant I could carve out a pastoral vocation supported by, and in my case improved by, outside work. With a paycheck secured, being a pastor took on a reenergized set of priorities: personally knowing the people in my congregation, preparing myself to lead them in Scripture and worship, and cultivating time for prayer. That work can be fit into life beyond a 9-5.

It means most nights you’ll find me with a commentary instead of Netflix. It means we host a lot of meals in our home with church members. And it means I prioritize prayer, forcing me to involve a lot of volunteers for tasks other pastors might find in their job descriptions. But at the end of each week—closing our services in prayer, chatting with couples in the lobby, hauling my son with me to hospital visitations—I still feel like a pastor.

It’s not perfect, and certainly not void of stress, but pastoring never is. I think Paul would have offered similar advice as he did for marriage. If you’re married, great. If you’re single, great. Is your church able to pay you a full-time salary? Great. Do you find yourself having to work outside the church? Great.

The real work is not figuring out a path to the lustrous, full-time image you’ve previously imagined. The real work is recognizing what God is doing and receiving each invitation with vocational gratitude. Dreaming about what you wished ministry looked like is robbing you of what God is doing right in front of you. God alone knows where your career and callings will lead you, but I do know this, the joy is in faithfulness. The dignity of being a pastor is earned in faithfulness, not in a salary. Don’t rule out how God might use another career to make you a better pastor.

The only opportunity you will ever have to live by faith is in the circumstances you are provided this very day: this house you live in, this family you find yourself in, this job you have been given, the weather conditions that prevail at the . . . moment. –  Eugene Peterson, Run with the Horses: The Quest for Life at Its Best

Recently, I’ve had the privilege of interviewing several other podcast hosts on the Pastor Writer podcast. These days, there are some great podcasts for Christian writers. I thought I’d pass along a list of a few shows I’ve been enjoying.

PS: If you enjoy a podcast, the best gift you can give this Christmas is a review.

1. Home Row

The Home Row podcast is hosted by J.A. Medders, a pastor and writer from Houston, Texas. It is an interview show which focuses primarily on non-fiction Christian writers. Episode 1: Jared Wilson on Writing is a great place to start. 

You can also listen to my interview with Jeff Medders at Tools for Writing and Avoiding Discouragement


2. Christian Publishing Show

The Christian Publishing Show is hosted by Thomas Umstattd Jr., who also co-hosts the Novel Marketing podcast. The show overs valuable insights and interviews on the process of traditional publishing. The podcast is relatively new but is sure to become one of my favorites. I really enjoyed episode 5, How James L. Rubart Went From Rejected and Unpublished to Bestselling Author.

Additionally, here is my interview with Thomas Umstattd Jr., Going Viral & First Steps In Author Marketing


3. Write from the Deep

As co-hosts, Karen Ball & Erin Taylor Young, describe themselves as chaplains to writers. They take a contemplative look at the writing life of the writer. The show is a good combination of interviews and insights. I had the honor of being on their show in December. You can listen to the episode at, 083 — Pastor Writer in the Deep with Guest Chase Replogle

You can listen to my interview with Karen and Erin at Why Writers Give Up


4. The Portfolio Life

Jeff Goins show covers more than writing, it’s really about the creative process, but there are some great episodes on the writing process.  There is a great four-part series on how Jeff wrote one of his books with coach Marion Roach Smith.


5. Creative Penn

The Creative Penn podcast is one of the longest running podcasts for writers. The show isn’t focused on Christian writing, however, Joanna offers some great advice and interviews for self-publishing. It’s a show to keep tabs on.

“The modern hero is the outsider. His experience is rootless. He can go anywhere. He belongs nowhere. Being alien to nothing, he ends up being alienated from any type of community based on common tastes and interests. The borders of his country are the sides of his skull.
― Flannery O’Connor, The Catholic Novelist in the Protestant South


We are facing an epidemic of discontentment and disillusionment amongst men, particularly those like myself, millennials. We’ve been told our entire lives that you can be anything you want to be, but by thirty the truth has finally started to set in. It’s not entirely true, at least not the way we imagined it would be.

Rose Hackman, in an article entitled, “As millennials, we’re all in dire straits. But I worry most about our men” writes about a close friend wrestling with his own feelings of discontentment. She recounts:

“He picked up a discarded, almost empty beer can, and chugged. He talked about his parents, about how stuck he felt in his job, how he felt he couldn’t see a way out. He spoke of inequality and broken dreams in this country, and how useless he felt as an adult… None of his musings were self-pitying indulgence or narcissistic… His complaints and analyses all rang true. Millennials living in the United States do not need statistics to tell us how false the American dream is. We know it from our guts…”

What’s False About The American Dream

What’s “false” about the American dream isn’t the lack of possibility to become what you want to be, that’s more possible at this moment in America than almost any other time or place in the past. What’s false is that that possibility is the highest value. What’s false is that possibility can deliver on a meaningful identity. What’s false is that we need possibility to find ourselves.

Possibility is about control, a kind of freedom that comes with no responsibility. It’s the expectation that we can choose our own being. And we are obsessed with what could be—who we could be. The endless availability of options means we’re never quite done choosing.

When we start to feel uncomfortable with who we are or how our life is developing, we go looking for new options. We start looking for alternatives. Our culture’s obsession with consumerism has convinced us we can choose our way out of any crisis. We find new role-models. We buy new vehicles. We day-dream about new relationships. We live in a world that offers more of these options than ever before. Choose who to love. Choose what to do. Choose a new career. Choose a new place to live. Choose who to follow. Choose who to hang out with. Choose what brands to buy. Choose a profile image—choose a better filter for that profile image. Choose what kind of man you want to be.

We think we can choose our way to discovering our identity. We think we can keep choosing and continue to refine our destiny. The great enemy of our day is any restriction on our free choosing: parents, government, or God himself. Expectations and commitments are the constant threat to our free choice and the potential of who we are hoping to become.

Too often Millennials get a bad wrap for this self-absorption, but it’s hardly just a Millennial quality. Self-interest is as old as the garden; the sin just continues to peculiarly manifest itself in each new generation. For my grandparents it was in reputation and social position; for my parents, it was cars, homes, and vacations; for Millennials it seems to be purpose, adventure, and individuality. Each generation has its way of scaffolding out a desire into a corresponding identity and working to achieve that ideal design. For Millennials, the project is the adventure of self-discovery.

Individuality and the pursuit of your own way have become the new hero’s journey. There is no calling higher than self-discovery. There is no greater adventure than the pursuit of originality. Conformity is death and cowardice. Finding your identity is the hope of salvation, to know and be who you could be.

According to Steve Jobs:

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

Your Destiny Lies Within You

Last year, my family went to Disney World. The Magic Kingdom has an incredible light and fireworks show. Thousands of people were packed around the castle watching. The technology is magic. Laser lights, fireworks, music, and video projection bring the castle’s turrets and walls to life with the pantheon of Disney heroes. My three-year-old son sat on my shoulders in awe. I was in awe.

Disney is a master of storytelling. They can move the hearts of grown men and toddlers alike. I listened as the narrator pieced together the show’s songs and animation with these words: “Each of us has a dream, a heart’s desire. It calls to us. And when we are brave enough to listen, bold enough to pursue it, that dream will lead us on a journey to discover who we are meant to be. All we have to do is look inside our hearts and unlock the magic within. Your destiny lies within you; you just have to be brave enough to see it.”

Your identity lies within your heart’s desires. You can not underestimate how much of life is now driven by that pursuit. The pursuit of who you uniquely are is the American dream. It motivates what you post on Instagram, how you describe yourself in a Twitter bio, the brands you buy, and the logos clung to the back window of your car. It is sold in marketing, promoted by celebrities, and preached by too many pastors. To become who you can be, you have to embrace your desires above every other presumption. Or to put it more millennially, “you do you.”

But there is one big problem.

But Your Heart Will Inevitably Betray You

The problem? Who in the world understands his own heart’s desires. For Disney, it always seems clear. But in life, our hearts are a mixed bag of half-baked passions and a war of conflicting desires. Worse, our desires are malleable and easily manipulated by propaganda and sin. Trusting our hearts, what we actually experience is explained much better by Francis Spufford:

“You glimpse an unflattering vision of yourself as a being whose wants make no sense, don’t harmonize: whose desires, deep down, are discordantly arranged, so that you truly want to possess and you truly want not to, at the very same time. You’re equipped, you realize, for farce (or even tragedy) more than you are for happy endings.”

Or as the prophet Jeremiah puts it, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”

I need you to recognize what you are attempting to do. You are trusting your heart to produce an identity. You are hoping that passion will guide you to meaning. You are ignoring what we all know; your heart is as confused in its desires as you are in trying to follow it.

The Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy had a good analogy for what I’m trying to describe. He once wrote,

“Had I been like a man living in a wood from which he knows there is no exit, I could have lived; but I was like one lost in a wood who, horrified at having lost his way, rushes about wishing to find the road. He knows that each step he takes confuses him more and more, but still he cannot help rushing about.”

Your heart is an insufficient place to go looking for who you are. Your heart can’t guide you out of the woods. And there are consequences of attempting to build towers on the shifting sands of your heart’s desires.

The unacknowledged problem is that all of this depends on knowing what you want. It depends upon your heart’s desires being something you can actually understand and articulate back to yourself. It depends on you making sense to yourself. It’s laughable. Most days I can’t decide if I want Cashew or Sweet and Sour Chicken at the China Cheif drive-thru. Good luck deciding who you want to be in fifty years.

If Jeremiah is right, and no one can truly understand their own heart, or it’s twisted tangle of desires, then placing our hope for an identity on it seems like a flimsy proposition.

What the Flannel Board Failed To Teach You About Samson

Enter Samson. Outside the Grand Palace in Peterhof, Russia sits one of the great statues of Samson. A fountain cast in gold, it depicts a chiseled, shirtless Samson ripping apart the jaws of a roaring lion with his bare hands. Samson looks Herculean. You can almost hear the popping and cracking of the lion’s jawbones buckling under Samson’s strength. The whole scene is suspended in tension. Samson looks every part the hero. Like the sultriest of Greek gods, Samson gives form to courage and brawn. This is the kind of guy they put on the cover of Harlequins.

Samson is everything a man might imagine becoming. I like to imagine him in Ray-Bans, a man bun, and a CrossFit t-shirt, hiking through some remote red stone canyon, documenting his adventurous life on Instagram. He is the model man, driven by passion and restless for adventure and romance. He was fascinated with the seductive nature of Philistia, the risk of roaming into enemy territory only making it all the more adventurous.

Samson’s story is the millennial story—pursue your desires and individuality against any expectation that would hold you back. Your true self is out there on the horizon. Seize it. Don’t let your parent’s stuffy traditions or your community’s prudish tendencies hold you back.

And so Samson charted his course off into the sunset, his heart beating with the adrenaline of passion and possibility. Samson pursued his desires with all his heroic, God-given talent, honestly believing that his heart’s desires would lead him to greatness, but it only quickened his ruin.

He would end up bound, eyes gouged out, forced into slave labor in the temple of the Philistine god, Dagon. His ultimate destination was the furthest imaginable experience from the ideal that drove him to pursue it. His desire cost him the very thing that compelled him.

Betrayed by love, by his own people, by the Philistines he so admired, and by his own strength, his failure wasn’t ultimately entrusting Delilah with his secret, it was not trusting God with his destiny. Ultimately it wasn’t just Delilah who betrayed him. Samson was betrayed by his own heart’s desires. That is a massive warning about how many of us are pursuing our identity.

If you read Samson’s story carefully, you will discover much of your own life. Samson’s story became life changing for me in this way. I watched as he struggled to pay attention to the Spirit’s work, constantly distracted by his desires. I read closely as he suffered under the disillusionment of a life that seemed always to be off the rails. I found myself just as confused by his constantly broken relationships as he seemed to be in breaking them. I watched his restlessness give way to broken vows and suddenly recognized my own wayward tendencies.

That is the way we read Samson’s story well. His life is no easier to understand than your own. Like Samson, we all live in the constant ambiguity of dead ends, false starts, unfulfilled dreams, and disappointments. Learning to read Samson’s story helps you acquire the skills to read and understand your own story. Here were the tools of discernment I needed. This story was the means of piecing together my story. I think it provides the tools most Mellinial men are missing.

You Already Have What You Need

What we discover from Samson’s story is that an identity cannot be achieved it must be received. Who you are becoming is not something you’re very good at leading. Far better you develop the skills of discernment to recognize the work God is leading.

Who you are has more to do with what you receive, the work God has already begun in the pedestrian place you’re already living, than what you might someday obtain.

As one writer explained to his student:

“If your everyday life seems poor, don’t blame it; blame yourself; admit to yourself that you are not enough of a poet to call forth its riches; because for the creator there is no poverty and no poor, indifferent place.”

We have lost our disciplines of discernment, gratitude, stillness, and contentment. We are paying the consequences for it. We have reaped lives of disillusionment, discontentment, uncertainty, and anxiety.

But you can stop. It’s what the Bible calls Sabbath. A deliberate act of checking your own ambition, taking your hands off your identity, and paying closer attention to what is already around you. Recognizing that a greater hero is your hope. That salvation, like your idenitty, is a received grace.

The adventure you have been looking for isn’t out there on the horizon, it’s right here: around your kitchen table, reading books with your kids in bed, learning to love your wife through difficult times, faithfully serving a community in work and worship. “Making it your ambition to lead a quiet life,” as Paul would advice.

What you have been looking for—the passion, the calling, the adventure—is already in front of you. You have everything you need to become who you’re becoming. You have God. And As Samson discovered, one single moment of faith is enough to reorient a life—to receive a new identity.

Samson’s story is a treasure trove of human emotion, failed dreams, dulled discernment, painful consequences, confused conclusions, and yet still remarkable life-giving grace. Right now, we need his story desperately. And we need it reminded to us regularly.

Go read it. Reread it.

I think you will discover what I did:

“There must be a real giving up of the self. You must throw it away “blindly” so to speak. Christ will indeed give you a real personality: but you must not go to Him for the sake of that. As long as your own personality is what you are bothering about you are not going to Him at all. The very first step is to try to forget about the self altogether… Give up your self, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it.

Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favourite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end: submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in.”

— C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity


A few weeks ago, I saw the movie, Operation Finale. It tells the story of a secret Israeli operation to infiltrate Argentina and capture Adolf Eichmann, a former Nazi SS officer, credited for his influential role in planning and directing the Final Solution, the German execution of more than six million Jews.

After the war, Eichmann managed to escape to Argentina and was living under an alias to avoid war crime prosecution in Europe. Israeli agents were able to capture Eichmann and deliver him to Israel to stand trial. His trial was televised around the world and was for many, the first eye-witness testimony of the Holocaust experience.

The Depiction of Eichmann

The movie, depicting Eichmann’s capture, is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time. Except for minor rearranging of events and the introduction of a sub-plotted love story, the film is extremely historically accurate. There is even a minor depiction of David Ben-Gurion, who for most modern Israelis is something like their George Washington. If you have ever been to Israel, you fly into the Ben-Gurion airport.

But maybe the best part is the depiction of Eichmann. As the movie unfolds, the appalling image of a man credited with millions of murders gives way to the unremarkable image of a mere human, one which must be fed, shaved, and regularly led to the toilet by his captors—blind without his glasses. Scene by scene, Eichmann becomes more human, less the animal he is said to be.

The realization that one of the centuries most grotesque villains was actually a quite normal person need not diminish the man’s guilt—his humanity isn’t a defense, it suggests something far more uncomfortable; the most horrific acts of evil can be carried out by people indiscernibly similar to you and me. Far from an animal, Eichmann was a boring bureaucrat who justified horrific evil as carrying out orders.

Honestly, I think the movie may have actually made Eichmann more interesting than he really was, you know the way Hollywood casting always ends up with characters more attractive and articulate than their historical realities. Judging from historical photos and trial video, Eichmann seems more like someone you would encounter at the DMV than leading a death squad.

If the Movie Intrigues You

If the movie intrigues you, as it did me, get a copy of Hannah Arendt’s, Eichmann in Jerusalem: A Report on the Banality of Evil. There is also a decent 2012 movie on Arendt’s life, simply titled, Hannah Arendt.

Arendt, a European Jew who had barely managed to escape the concentration camps herself, was sent on assignment by The New Yorker to cover Eichmann’s trial in Jerusalem.

Arriving at the trial, Arendt made the same observation the movie’s producers sought to capture. Eichmann was far less impressive than his reputation. Stephen Miller summarized Arendt’s comments, writing, “In her critical account of his 1961 trial for crimes against the Jewish people and humanity, Arendt argued that Eichmann, far from being a ‘monster,’ as the Israeli prosecutor insisted, was nothing more than a thoughtless bureaucrat, passionate only in his desire to please his superiors. Eichmann, the unthinking functionary capable of enormous evil, revealed the dark potential of modern bureaucratic man.”

Arendt coined the phrase, the “banality of evil.” You can define banal as, “so lacking in originality as to be obvious and boring.” What Arendt observed was that evil feeds not just on extremism, but just as frequently on our banality. Sin works its way deepest into the most boring and apathetic lives.

Take these examples from Arendt’s work.

“The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil.” — The Life of the Mind

“The aim of totalitarian education has never been to instill convictions but to destroy the capacity to form any.” — The Origins of Totalitarianism

“When all are guilty, no one is; confessions of collective guilt are the best possible safeguard against the discovery of culprits, and the very magnitude of the crime the best excuse for doing nothing. ” — The Origins of Totalitarianism

Maybe the most startling lesson from Operation Finale and Arendt’s work is how ordinary the worst evil can appear and how easily ordinary people can fall into it.

Men Without Chests; Invisible without Uniforms

C. S. Lewis described the condition as “men without chests.” We are able to think but have lost our feel for morality. Truth becomes relative. Right and wrong are questions of pragmatics, necessity, and power. Reason serves only to justify. And virtue only as a veneer. These “chestless” men survive by concerning themselves with only the most unimportant tasks. They live in small self-centered worlds which makes them perfect cogs in the machinery of evil.

Lewis writes elsewhere, “The real mark of hell is a sleepless, unsmiling concentration upon the self. We must understand hell is a place where everyone is perpetually concerned about his or her own dignity and advancement, where everybody always has a grievance, and where everybody lives in the deadly seriousness of envy and self-importance.”

Take Eichmann’s own words, recorded at his trial:

“Adolf Hitler may have been wrong all down the line, but one thing is beyond dispute: the man was able to work his way up from lance corporal in the German Army to Führer of a people of almost 80 million. His success alone proved that I should subordinate myself to this man.”

“Now that I look back, I realize that a life predicated on being obedient is a very comfortable life indeed. Living in such a way reduces to a minimum one’s own need to think.”

“My heart was light and joyful in my work, because the decisions were not mine.”

At his trial, Eichmann wore a simple dark suit and tie. Operation Finale he depicts him most frequently in his underwear and a white undershirt. Out of his uniform, he appears like any other man. Small, aged, and unimpressive.

Holocaust journalist, Gitta Sereny has wisely observed, their uniform “gives them more certainty than they have.” But in the dock, the Eichmann bears no insignia, no swastika, no medals or ribbons, no flags or rank. Just a man. A man and his choices.

What to do with Eichmann?

Ultimately, Eichmann was found guilty and executed. Thoughtless obedience serves as no defense. But if that verdict serves only to objectify a man into a caricature of evil, we have missed the real warning of his evil.

Writing for The American Interest, Roger Berkowitz concludes, “In other words, evil originates in the neediness of lonely, alienated bourgeois people who live lives so devoid of higher meaning that they give themselves fully to movements. Such joiners are not stupid; they are not robots. But they are thoughtless in the sense that they abandon their independence, their capacity to think for themselves, and instead commit themselves absolutely to the fictional truth of the movement. It is futile to reason with them. They inhabit an echo chamber, having no interest in learning what others believe. It is this thoughtless commitment that permits idealists to imagine themselves as heroes and makes them willing to employ technological implements of violence in the name of saving the world.”

I’m not offering you ten lessons to learn from Eichmann, but instead, a simple question, is it possible that I too could fall into such blind evil and banal evil?


Note: Hannah Arendt also writes about the danger of clichés. I talk about her insights in episode 17 of the podcast, Your Cliches Are More Dangerous Than You Might Think.

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